vow of silence
by faberritana 4eva
Summary: Quinn lost the one person she loved,she decided to take a vow of silence and to never speak to the people that once left her Rachel was determined to get quinn to open up,but will Quinn let her in or push her away. warning deals with stillborn inside
1. Chapter 1

**This is an AU, but there are some parts of the first season that are mentioned but nothing from season two so that means no Sam. UN bated so all mistakes are my own. Don't own glee or any of it character's. Read and review. Enjoy.**

_**Chapter 1**_

It was like another day for Quinn in McKinley, where the students walked passed her like she didn't exist. Her life had changed dramatically, she was queen bee, HBIC, captain of the cheerio's and now she's a pregnant homeless sixteen year old, who lives in an abandoned old warehouse and works everyday to pay her share.

She met a family a few months ago who were extremely nice and they were on the adoption agency waiting list, just waiting for someone to pick them so they could start their family. When they heard the blonde's story they agreed to help with hospital bills and a few other things like clothing for the blonde and food. The couple on the other hand had no idea that of the blonde's living arrangements.

Lunch had ended and Quinn was walking down the stairs from the second floor when she was hit a slushy facial. Once the sticky liquid hit her she lost her balance tumbling down the rest of the steps hitting the floor with a huge thump and a load screech left her mouth. At that moment all she could feel was pain shooting out of her body, she tried moving but every movement that she made just deepened the pain.

In the choir room all Mr. Shue had just called the end of the last glee club meeting for the year. As all the students were packing their bags to get to their next class. A load screech was heard in the room all the students rushed out the door to see what had happened.

They all saw the blonde laying floor holding tightly on to her stomach trying to calm her breaths to help with the pain. Rachel rushed to her kneeling besides her holding on to her. She was trying to reassure the pregnant girl that everything was going to be alright, whilst Mr. Shue called for an ambulance to get to the school as soon as possible.

Quinn had lost conscious about twenty seconds after Rachel sat beside her. Rachel held the blonde in her arms when she saw that the unconscious girl was bleeding heavily. She gasped at the amount of blood that the blonde had bled.

Once the ambulance taking the unconscious girl with her, Mr. Shue had gone with her. Everyone in the club had also made their way to the hospital. They were all wondering about one person and how they had hurt the girl in the hospital.

They were sitting in the waiting room of the hospital when a nurse came out.

"Which one of you are Max or Carly James" she asked the group of people, who were all waiting for information about the blonde behind the doors.

"No one by those names here has Quinn and the baby?" asked the boy that deserted his daughter and her mother and not ever once asked how she was.

"I am sorry but we can't tell you, the only people we can tell are her parents or her emergency contacts who are Mr. And Mrs. James." the woman said.

"But that's my daughter in there with her, you have to tell me." Puck pleaded with nurse who just shakes her indicating that she was not allowed.

"We could always call her mom, it's not like we know who those people are." said the Latina with a shrug.

"I guess but hey will her dad let her mom come?" Finn questioned.

"No harm in trying." the Latina replied.

Santana had called Judy Fabray to notify her that her daughter was currently in hospital in the operating theatre. Judy had got to the hospital in fifteen minutes. A soon as she arrived she found out that Quinn had a still born and had just gotten out of surgery her vitals were ok and that she was in recovery, And that they could see once she was awake.

As the group of people that were waiting for the blonde to wake up and hear the reality of her daughter's death. They all thought about how they had all hurt the ex cheerleader. How each and every one of them had snubbed the pregnant girl? They had all voted to kick her out of glee leaving her with no friends and no shoulder to cry on. She was voted out because if she stayed then Puck, Finn and Lucy would leave, this vote was taken five minutes before sectionals so Quinn got kicked out. And not one of the glee club members ever spoke to her again.

Puck had refused to help her pay for any of the hospital bills or any other expenses; he had even refused to put a roof over her head even though she was carrying his child, all for the girl he was now with Lucy. He had fallen in love with Lucy after Quinn told him that she was never going to tell Finn the truth about the father of the baby.

Once Lucy and the others found out that puck was in fact the father of Quinn's baby, she gave him an ultimatum, either he choose Quinn who would never love him or he chooses her and has nothing to do with the blonde or the baby she was carrying.

Puck was crazy in love with Lucy and agreed to be with Lucy and lose all contact with the blonde and her child. He would see her in the halls looking lost and hurt, and he even at times saw her in pain but just turned his head. He heard Quinn talking to her daughter in the library once telling her not to kick whilst she was busy studying and that the blonde would let her kick her all night if she let the blonde study. It took all of will power to not approach the blonde to ask if he could feel his daughter kicking.

Judy Fabray was the woman that allowed her husband to beat Quinn black and blue every day; tell her that she was a sin from the day she was born. He made his youngest daughter feel like she should feel honoured that he let her live and that her life was worth nothing. Judy sat in the corner and listened to her husband and scream at the girl until the words that left his mouth had turned in full blown punches and kicks and slaps not even regarding the younger girl's pain.

Judy had never tried to stop Russell Fabray from hurting Quinn in the fear that he may attack her. She knew how unhappy her daughter was and never did anything to help her. She just told her youngest daughter to act as if nothing was wrong and that the beatings she was getting were her own fault because she could never do anything right, but the truth was that kids were suppose to make mistakes and learn from them. Quinn first got hit by Russell when she was four years old and since that day there had been very few days she was safe from her father. Judy didn't do anything for Quinn and just watched as her husband yell at her for dropping her fork at dinner.

The nurse had told them that the blonde had woken and that they could all see her but that they shouldn't put too much pressure on her. They all silently made their way to room that was occupied with the blonde.

Quinn had been awake for while but didn't want to see any one once the doctor had told the blonde about her daughter being a still born. She just lay there crying for the loss of the only person in her life that she loved and that loved her back. After twenty minutes the nurse came in telling her that her mother and a few friends were waiting to see her. She wondered who these friends were since she didn't have any friends. Her mother had let her father kick her out so what was she doing here.

She gave a small nod to the nurse indicating that they could all come in. As she waited she remembered that the glee club had been by her side soon after she fell and that most likely it was them. She remembered that these people weren't her friends or her family and that she never wanted to speak to them again. She made a vow of silence to herself. That she would never utter a word to these people. They just felt guilty for what happened to her, and wanted to ease their own guilt and they didn't care for her. They were only here to see her to make themselves, to feel better about themselves.

She watched as her mother opened the door and slowly made her way to the bed sitting on the side, after Judy puck was the next person to walk in; he just stood by the wall near the door giving her a look of sympathy. The rest of the club followed next each of them slowly walking in giving her look of pity and sorrow, Mr. Shue was the last one to come into the room, once he was in the room he closed the door behind him.

They all tried to talk to the girl but Quinn just remained silent throughout all of their little speeches. She didn't want their pity or sorrow what she wanted was to be left alone to grieve the death of her daughter. Her mother told her about how she had kicked her father out for having an affair with some tattooed freak, and that Judy wanted her daughter to come back and live with her again and that things would be different. Whenever any of them mentioned her Quinn wanted to get up and punch them in the face they had no right to speak about her, they didn't know her they didn't care about her daughter so why were they here? Why couldn't they let her grieve in peace? Because there was no way she was going to break down and cry in front of these people.

Justine Fabray was studying in Harvard law when she got a call from her old friend who happened to be neighbours with her parent's home in Lima. Justine had been instructed by her father to never contact her mother or sister again or he would have a friend of his expel her from collage.

So when she gets the phone call from lime telling that her mother was asked to go to the hospital because Quinn Fabray had gotten hurt and was in the middle of an operation, she didn't care what her father said she needed to get back to lime and fast, she packed everything as she knew there would be no way she would get to come back once her father heard about this.

She told he principle that she was quitting collage and that she wouldn't be back. She got the first flight out to Lima asking her friends to drop her car of before they went for summer break. She was on the flight when she remembered the last conversation she had with her little sister.

_Quinn: please Justine I need help no one is helping me. I have nowhere to go. Please just send me some money. I don't care if it's less just as little as you can. _

_Justine: I am sorry Quinn. But I can't daddy has forbidden me from even talking to you. _

_Quinn: do you want me to beg because I will. I will do anything Justine please I haven't had anything to eat in two days. I am begging to help me if you want I will get on my knees and beg._

_Justine: Stop Quinn just stops, okay. Maybe this is god's way of punishing you and that bastard child you are carrying. God wants to punish you for your whorish ways and this is how. I mean it Quinn don't ever call me again for anything, I am not going to go behind daddies back for you. Good bye._

Justine had expected her sister to call her again but she never heard from Quinn again and that was fine for her too. The plane landed she went straight to the hospital and made her way to her sisters room. Once she entered the room filled with strangers, only recognizing her mother, Santana, Brittney and her sister lying in the hospital bed.

She had explained to Judy about how she had found out about Quinn and how she just quit collage because she cared about her sister. When Quinn heard Justine saying that she cared about her she used all her power to not scoff at her sister.

It was decided that Quinn would move back in with Judy and Justine. She wanted to protest but she remembered her vow of silence against these people. As her room started to get empty with the glee club members slowly leaving, Judy and Justine were going to stay the night.

Once her mother and sister were asleep Quinn thought about what she was going to tell Carly and Max about the baby they were going to die when they found out that she couldn't even look after their daughter for a few months, before giving her to them.

The morning came and Judy and Justine left Quinn in her own for a while whilst they both went home to freshen up and get the blonde some things. She was alone at last when she heard a knock at the door.

When the door opened she expected it to be Justine or Judy, but to her surprise it was Max and Carly. Quinn told them what had happened the three of them cried at the loss of their daughter. She told them how she would do anything to have her back. Quinn promised them that she would name the baby whatever they wanted and that they were both more than welcome to say goodbye to her at her funeral.

As soon as the couple left Judy had returned. Justine and the glee club all seem to have come at the same time. They all seemed to be in the places that they were in last night. There was a knock on the door before the nurse came in.

She asked for the blonde's signature as well as pucks for the death certificate. Once they had both signed the nurse asked what they wanted to name the baby. Puck was about to speak up when Quinn just took the pen and paper of the nurse and filled in the name herself. They all looked at the paper to see what the blonde had written.

_**Samantha Quinn James.**_

They all had questions about the name, but no one had the nerve to ask the blonde why she had chosen that name in particular. Sitting there they all talked about all the trivial things in life, but not one word was said out of the blonde's mouth and one person in particular was extremely quite as she observed the girl in the bed.

Rachel went home that day thinking about how Quinn must be feeling and why she hadn't even cried a single tear all that time they were all there. She thought the blonde was being to brave and had her walls up to far. But she made a promise to herself that no matter how high Quinn's walls were she would bring them down and help the blond though the tough time she was going though.

In two days her daughter would be buried and the world would never get to see her again. She needed to say goodbye to her. She sent a letter to Max and Carly letting them know about the funeral, where and when it was. She was going to see her little girl for the first and last time.

**Hi guys I got this idea in my head so I put it up here. So I don't really know if it's any good or not so let me know if I should just abandon it or continue, it will be a romance story but it will progress slowly but not as slowly as forever loved you. The beginning does start off with very little mention of Rachel but I will get to her in the next chapter. **

**I will update that soon but I have like four chapters written on my laptop but it broke down on me so I don't know when that will get fixed, so hopefully this will do for you guys. Hope you liked it.**

**Read and review good or bad just hearing from you guys is great. **


	2. Chapter 2

**Ok here is chapter two. Hope you like it. I would like to thank everyone who reviewed and favourited and alerted the story. Updates won't be this fast usually once or twice a week. Don't own glee or any of its characters. UN bated so all mistake are my own. Read and review love to hear from you guys whether it good or bad. Enjoy.**

**Chapter 2**

Quinn was released from the hospital the morning of the funeral. As she stepped out of the car to enter her childhood home that bought her nothing but pain and hurt. The memories of her father's beatings started flooded her mind.

As soon she stepped in to the building that was a house but never a home for her, she looked around nothing had changed since she was last here. The one thing that did come to her notice was that the pictures of her had been removed and had been replaced with Justine, Judy and Russell. There was no indication of Quinn ever living in this house or even if she a part of the family.

Slowly walking up to her room she noticed it was still in state she left it in when she much of her possessions as possible, they must have just shut the door and never bothered to ever go in there again.

She slowly started to put things away. When Justine knocked on the door and came in.

"Hey Quinnie how are holding up?" she asked but there was no reply.

"You want something to eat moms making sandwiches?" another attempt to get the blonde to speak, but still no answer.

"Okay so I will take your silence as a no. we will be setting of in about an hour get ready so we can be on time." This time she knew the blonde wouldn't reply still waited to see if she might get one.

Once Justine left her room Quinn's tears started but no sound left her mouth. She walked into her closet to pick out a dress for the funeral. She went through all of them but couldn't find the right one, she was on the verge of giving up and just going in a pair of jeans when her eyes landed on the perfect dress, it was a pink floral dress with yellow sun flowers printed on it. It was prefect a dress that showed the world that even though her life had been miserable she came in and like a flower brightened it up and showed her the joy of life. All of the misery that she felt for sixteen years of her life were all forgotten when Quinn had those eight months of happiness with her daughter.

She was wearing the dress with a white cardigan and yellow flat shoes. She sat on her bed waiting for someone to call her. Justine had yelled saying that they were going now, standing up she took in a deep breath and made her way down to the car.

The drive to the graveyard where the funeral was being held was a long and quite one, Judy kept on staring at her though her rear view mirror and Justine had sat in the back with her trying to hold her in comfort, but she would just push her away wanting her space.

The car stopped and Quinn took her eyes of the floor of the car and looked out of the window when she saw the glee club sitting there on side and on the other side was the couple with another woman sitting there with them and they were on their own. She got out of the car. As she started to walk towards her daughter's coffin she noticed that her mother and sister were on each of her sides.

The glee club were all sitting there waiting for the blonde. They had all seen the three strangers that were sitting on the other side on their own wondering who these people were. There were five chairs in the front on each side on one side were the couple and the other woman and on the other were puck and his mom. That Left three chairs for the blonde and her family. They all saw the blonde approaching with her sister and mother. Their eyes never left the youngest blonde girl. As they all saw them getting closer they all started to get up to give their condolences to her again but Quinn just walked right passed them.

Quinn saw everyone's eyes on her she wanted to run, when her eyes met with the couple that were sitting there also waiting for her she saw everyone trying to give her their condolences but didn't bother to listen to them, they didn't care they were just here for their own reasons their own guilt and she would not help them ease their guilt.

She walked straight past the people that she didn't care about her or her daughter and made her way to the three people that truly knew her daughter. Puck saw this and wanted to go and ask her why she was sitting there when he saved her a seat next to him.

Judy and Justine were about to sit next to Quinn when the blonde just glared at them indicating that she didn't want them near her. So the older two Fabray women walked away and took a seat next to Noah and his mother.

Once the minister started the sermon, Quinn was holding back her tears. She held the hands of Carly and Max throughout the whole time. When the time came for the coffin to be lowered in to the grave they all stood. Max had Carly and Quinn in his arms as both women were holding on to him tightly. Once the coffin was in the ground, it was time to throw the dirt in.

puck was about to do it first in the place of the father but Quinn took the dirt of the minister and held it front of Max so that he was the first to the throw the dirt in the place of the father because puck was not Samantha's father, Max was her father and Carly was her mother so they should have the rights to say good bye to their daughter first.

"Sleep tight daddy's princess" said the man as her throw the first handful of dirt.

"Good night angel" Carly said through tears.

Once Quinn had thrown the dirt in herself wishing her daughter a good night in her heart, she handed the dirt back to the minister. Quinn didn't even realise that the minister had left as she stared in the ground where her daughter now lay and would forever lay there.

"Hey call if you ever need to talk or if you need anything" Max said whilst giving the young blond a tight hug and releasing her.

When Carly went to hug her, the blond said she was sorry and started to cry harder.

"Listen to me it wasn't your fault. It was meant to be. Don't be too hard on yourself and don't forget to call or Addison might lose the plot" the woman said with slight smile as she nudged the girl beside her, who also went to hug the blonde as well.

Once the three had left Quinn's eye made their way back to the coffin in the ground in which her baby lay. Justine walked up her sister putting an arm around her shoulders. Quinn felt the contact from her sister and just shrugged the arm off.

During the whole ceremony Rachel had her eyes glued on the blonde, she watched as the girl cried but no sound ever left her mouth and how comfortable she was with the mystery couple. How the blonde fell into their arms holding on to them.

She watched as the couple left, Quinn's demeanour changed to a cold one, the tears had stopped flowing out. She watched as Quinn didn't even allow her sister to touch her or even how she tried to move away. That instant Rachel knew that the blonde had closed herself off from her family.

They all made their way back to the Fabray house for the reception. Nobody knew what to do; they all sat there just waiting for the blonde to leave the car. Once they reached the house Judy and Justine got out and made their way inside but Quinn made no sign of leaving the car, Just sitting there thinking about how her daughter was sleeping in a coffin and that she would never get to see her baby girl ever again.

She took one last deep breath and got out of the car and made it inside the house, as she opened the door everyone's head turned to face her. She quietly made her way up stairs to her room, not really wanting to see any of these people.

"Can I go speak to her?" asked the Latina. As soon as Judy gave a quick nod Santana made her way up to the blonde's room. Knocking quietly a few times there was no reply; she opened the door to find the blonde laying in the foetal position on her bed crying softly.

She walked up to the blonde and gently placed a hand on the crying girls shoulder. The crying had stopped but the blonde had not turned around to see who it was that had disturbed her. Santana grew impatient with the silence.

"Come on Q you have got to talk to someone, or at least cry about it?" said Santana hoping the blonde would talk to her. Justine had told the group of people down stairs about how the blonde seemed to have cut herself off from everyone and had not said a word to anyone.

"You know you will go crazy if you keep this kind of depression locked talk to some if not me or your family why not someone else?" The young Latina stated. But still not a single word left her mouth. Santana had decided to give the girl some space and come and check on her tomorrow.

The next two weeks Quinn had gotten into a routine, every morning getting up at seven and taking a shower and changing into a comfortable pair of clothing. Once she clean and changed she would just get back on her bed and lay there. If Judy or Justine asked her a question they would only get a shake of the head for an answer. She hardly ever touched her food, never spoke and not once had left her house.

Judy thought her daughter was going through a deep faze of depression. At times Quinn felt that way too. If she had been able to keep her balance her daughter would still be alive and would have a loving family to take care of her. The more she thought about this the she hated herself.

Rachel had called the whole glee club meet at her house, to try and get them to help Quinn though this tough time she was going though.

"So I asked all of you to come today because I believe that Quinn needs our help, and if each of us show her that we are her for her maybe she will be able to get out of this funk she currently in." the tiny diva said.

"I agree with berry q is in really bad way. She needs our help. Count me and B in whatever scheme you want help in but nothing crazy." The Latina said.

"Why should we help her when it's clear that she doesn't want our help?" Said Finn annoyed with the idea.

"Because everyone needs someone Finn and clearly you don't want to help so you don't need to be here." Rachel answered the tall boy.

"Damn right I don't want to help her, it's not like she even wants us to be near her so why even bother to waste our time and effort for someone who will not appreciate it, she hates us and we hate her so there is no point in bothering with her." he said frustrated.

"No Finn that is where you are wrong, we have all been afraid to even speak to her since sectionals because we were scared that you and Lucy would quit and if Lucy left so did puck, and that way we wouldn't even be able to compete in regional's. So for the sake of the club we pushed her away and left her alone. But you don't even care do you, if you don't get your way then it must be wrong because you are always right aren't you." she answered back in frustration.

"What about puck, she was his daughter too. And that cold hearted bitch didn't even ask him if he wanted to name the baby and even took away his right at the funeral as her father, I just wanted to punch her when she gave the dirt to that other dick." Finn replied with anger seeping though his voice.

"Father, Puck was her father! He wanted nothing to do with the baby or Quinn, when she was alive so what right does he have now that she has died. He never went to one appointment with Quinn, not once asked if the baby was ok, he acted as if they both didn't exist. That man must have been more of a father figure to the baby than puck, and if you recall Quinn didn't even throw the dirt when the minister said for the mother to throw it. They must have been the people that Quinn wanted to give the baby too. It's not like any of us asked her what she was going to do with it.

"I did but Finn was staring at me like he was going to kill me so I just left her, because Finn scares me when he goes all crazy." the ditzy blonde said, who was playing with a strand of her hair.

"I get why Santana wants to help her but why do you? She made your life a living hell and didn't even care? So why do you all of a sudden feel the need to help her?" Finn said ignoring the comment Brittney had just made.

"It's not all of a sudden Finn, I wanted to be there for her whilst she was pregnant but I stayed away for the sake of the club, I knew what kind of reaction you would have, and I was right you are one selfish human being, you like to play the sympathy card whenever you like but hate it when someone else is in need. How can you be so insensitive?" screeched the brunette, folding her arms across her chest.

"Because that bitch lied to me and made me a laughing stock, I was one big joke Rachel because of her and she is the one person that I can never forgive no matter what." Finn said.

"Are you talking about honesty? How honest have you been with berry? Does she know about...?" The Latina was cut off.

"SANTANA I AM WARNING YOU TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT!" shouted Finn though gritted teeth.

"No Finn I think I would like to know what she was going to say, Santana please continue what you were about to say before you were rudely interrupted." Rachel said moving her hands from her chest to her hips.

"Your precious boyfriend here is not as innocent as he claims to be. When you two broke up and you were dating Jessie Saint jerk we did the nasty. He has been lying to you for months now." The Latina said and a smirk appeared on her face as she saw Finn's face turn to a look of horror.

"FINN HUDSON YOU LIED TO ME! YOU TOOK MY VIRGINITY AND NEVER THOUGHT TO TELL ME! HOW COULD YOU DO THAT YPU LYING BASTARD. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE RIGHT NOW. I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU; WE ARE NO LONGER OUT BEFORE I HURT YOU." screamed the pint size diva.

"Rachel let me explain I ..." Finn said trying to walk to the fuming diva.

"No you listen to me, we are finished Finn. I trusted you with something that I valued so much and you lied and took it without showing any sort of remorse, I hate you, everything you say is always about you. If I want something I am being too demanding but if you want it then I have to do it. I am sick of your selfishness. You and your huge ego can get out of my house and my life." Rachel said cutting off the tall boy.

"Rachel let's talk about this, don't do this we can make this work." the boy said avoiding the divas eyes.

"GEEEET OOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUT NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOW!" screamed Rachel pointing to the door, but Finn made no sign of moving.

"You heard her Frankenteen, get the fuck out" the Latina said. Puck started to drag the boy out before things got worse.

"You're going to pay for this Santana, I don't know how or when but you are going to pay and Rach this is biggest mistake you have made and don't come running to me when that bitch Fabray hurts you again because I won't be waiting for you." screamed the tall boy as puck dragged him out and shut the door in his face.

"Right, now that the main problem has gone if you wish to leave you can, no one is going to force you to stay. But if you wish to help a fellow friend then please stay so we can decide on how to get our friend back." Rachel said calming herself down.

Lucy left with puck reluctantly following her following behind her. That left Rachel, Santana, Brittney, Mercedes, Tina, Kurt, Artie, Mike and Matt to help get the blonde back to her former self. They sat in the berry house for hours coming up with ideas on how to get the blonde to open up to them.

They all agreed that they would all spend a day with the girl on their own to try and get the girl out of her depression. If that was to fail, the girls would have sleepovers and all girl parties with Quinn. They all left the berry house hoping that this would get the girl out of her funk. They would have outings to fairs and the beach and other places, get the girl out of her home and into a new environment.

Rachel sat at home as she remembered the state Quinn has been in everyday since the death. She was hoping that this would help the blonde and not push her further away, in the hope that this was good for Quinn Rachel went to bed and the plan to save Quinn would start tomorrow.

**Next chapter will have Faberry moments. Any way as you can probably tell I don't like Finn so there will be more Finn bashing further in the story? Don't for get to review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Ok here's chapter three so I hope you guys like it. Thank you to everybody who reviewed favourited and alerted the story again. UN bated so all mistake are my own. Don't own glee or any of its characters. Read and review, good or bad I just love hearing from you guys. Enjoy **

In the two weeks after she had buried her daughter, Quinn had convinced herself that Samantha's death was all her fault, all of the slushe's thrown in McKinley not one person had fallen but Quinn, and she had persuaded herself that she was the murderer of her daughter. With this thought in her mind Quinn had spiralled into a deep depression, she couldn't eat sleep or think without feeling the guilt of killing her daughter.

Rachel and rest of the group that wanted to help get the blonde back to her usual self had arrived at the blondes house at eleven thirty. Justine opened the door to the group of people, smiling at the group as they entered her home. Judy was about to call the blonde down when Rachel asked if she could speak to her, the group sat in the Fabray living room as they two the two older Fabray women about their plan to get the old Quinn back.

The two older women seemed to like the idea the group of kids came up with, they told the others of how Quinn seemed to be in such a depression that she seemed to have lost the will to live.

"Quinn, will you come down for a moment your friends are here." Judy yelled from the bottom of the stairs so her youngest daughter would hear her. Quinn groaned to herself as she heard her mother's request to go down stairs.

"Hey we were all going to go to the circus and you have to come to, so go and get dressed or I will come up and get you dressed myself." Santana said when she saw the blonde making her way down the stairs. Quinn looked at the Latina like she had grown an extra head. She didn't want to go to some stupid circus to try and have fun; she wanted to stay home because she believed that after her daughter died she wasn't allowed to enjoy herself as her baby girl lay six feet under the ground.

Noticing that Quinn wasn't moving Santana and Brittney took the blonde girl up to get her dressed, Rachel really didn't want Santana to say something stupid that may hurt the girls feeling and push her further away, she also made her way up with the trio.

They all entered Quinn's room, it all looked the same to the two cheerleaders but Rachel couldn't believe she was standing in Quinn Fabray's room. Santana went straight to the blonde's closet and took out a dress for the girl, since she loved them so god damn much.

Brittney and Rachel slowly started to undress the blonde, but Quinn didn't seem to like this idea so she backed away from the two. She was not going to let anyone see her body, especially her stomach where there was a scar that her baby was taken from her. That part of her was body was only for her eyes only because that was all she had to remember the little girl that was once growing inside of her.

At the thought of the mark on her body fading, Quinn realised that soon she would have nothing but a few memories she froze in place she couldn't forget her baby she wasn't going to forget her baby. She had completely frozen in the place she was standing not even realising that there were people in the room with her.

Rachel and Brittney moved closer to the blonde again to try again, this time Quinn didn't move or flinch when the two of them started to help the girl change. Santana throw out a dress out of the closet and went back in to get a cardigan and some shoes for the blonde. Brittney had taken the lower half of Quinn as she started to remove the sweatpants the girl was wearing; Rachel started to remove the t shirt the girl was currently wearing removing the t shirt Rachel how Quinn's hands went straight to the scar as she gently started to stroke it, she felt a little uncomfortable invading the girls privacy as the blonde girl was currently stood in her room with only wearing panties and a bra.

Picking up the dress Rachel slowly started to get the blonde covered up, although she had to admit that even though the blonde had just given birth two weeks ago her body looked absolutely beautiful, she couldn't help but admire the natural beauty that is Quinn Fabray.

Once the blonde was dressed the girl was literally dragged out of her home. Rachel and Quinn sat in the back of Santana's car whilst Brittney rode in the front with Latina. Rachel beside the blonde, she would occasionally touch the blonde on the hand or the shoulder to let her blonde know that she was there for her in any sense.

Arriving at the circus Santana paid for the tickets and the group of people took their seats on one side of the blonde was the Latina and on the other was Rachel who seemed to have held her hand. Quinn had tried to let go of the brunette divas hand but Rachel's grip on the hands was too strong for the girl so she just let the diva hold her hand. Rachel could feel trying to loosen the grip on her hands but the diva wanted the girl to have some sort of contact with another person, so every time Quinn tried to get her hand free Rachel would tighten the grip so the blonde knew that the diva was not going to let go of her hand no matter how hard she tried.

On the way home they all went to get a pizza, they all sat together, Quinn was at the end of the table with Rachel on one side and Brittney on the other. Santana had ordered for the blonde as she didn't seem to say a word, as the group eat and talked about what they had all been up too, Rachel didn't really pay attention to the group as she had her eyes glued to the blonde on her right that didn't even notice that there was food in front of her, Rachel once again took the blondes hands into her own hoping that the girl would take this as encouragement to eat something.

"Please Quinn, just take bit and taste it." The diva said leaning in to blonde as she whispered the words. Something inside Quinn told her to pick up the pizza and eat it, she was really hungry, she hadn't eaten in days she was practically living off water and a few bites of food she would eat to get her mother to stop nagging her, she just couldn't bring herself to pick it up and eat the slice, believing that because of her daughter had never gotten a chance to taste any type of food so why she eat when her daughter couldn't.

Rachel noticed the girl staring at the food in front of her. Slowly Rachel took the slice from the blonde's plate and bought to the girl's mouth. Rachel could see that the blonde wanted to take a bite but seem to be a little hesitant, so Rachel squeezed the blondes hand for reassurance. The whole table was staring at them at his moment but neither girl noticed the stares, when the blonde seemed to have taken a small bite of the slice of pizza, the whole group of people sitting at the table sighed a breathe of relief that they did not know they were holding.

Santana and Brittney took the blonde out the next day to go shopping. Artie and Tina took her to bike riding around town. Mercedes and Kurt took her shopping as well. Mike and matt took her out of town to go kart racing. There was only one person left to take the blonde, Rachel was nerves to say the least, because she had never spent time alone with girl before.

She glanced at her watch sitting in her car, giving herself a pep talk to go and knock on the door, it's not like Quinn was going to hurt her, the girl barely moved and never spoke, and she learnt this from the others who had told about their outings with the girl.

She got out the car and walked up to the door knocking on the door timidly; Judy opened the door to the girl with a small but welcoming smile. Rachel made her way to the blonde's bedroom to find the girl wearing a pair of skinny jeans with a black tank top.

"Hey Quinn are you ready to go?" said Rachel walking slowly towards the girl that was sitting on her bed staring off into space. Both girls made their way downstairs as Rachel said goodbye to Judy and Justine who were both sitting in the living room, Quinn just walked out the door not even bothering to acknowledge her family.

Rachel walked out the house to find the blonde standing in front of the driver's seat door of her car. She opened the doors to her car as she watched the blonde girl sit in the driver's seat of the car, she got in the passenger's side she belted up and handed the keys to the other girl, who took the keys happily. Rachel was slightly relieved that Quinn had already decided what to do today, because Rachel had no idea what the girl's hobbies were and didn't want to bore the girl.

Quinn had decided that she would go and get her stuff from the warehouse today, she really wanted to do this on her own but she would probably never get a chance so she could just do it with as little people by her side as possible. She started to take deep breathes as she turned the car on and out in to drive.

"Where are we going?" she asked after ten minutes of the blonde driving in silence without showing any indication of where they were going. The car came to a stop in front of an abandon warehouse. Rachel wanted to ask what they were doing here but the expression on the other girl's face told her to keep quiet and let the blonde do what she wanted to and just be there and support the girl with whatever she wanted to do.

Quinn got out the car and walked slowly towards the building that she was her home for a while. The memories of her daughter started to flood her mind; she slowly entered the building and walked to the small section of the huge place where she kept her things.

Rachel was right behind the girl watching what the blonde was doing here, once she saw the girls belongings on the floor in the corner of the warehouse, she realised that the blonde had been living here whilst she was pregnant. Her heart broke as thought of what the girl must have done to get food and get clean. She continued to scan the small area where the girl slept during the night and there on the floor was three thin blankets on the floor, one was spread out on the floor to use to make the ground a little softer, and the other two were used as blankets to keep her warm and on the top was a worn out pillow.

Santana and Brittney were passing the Fabray house to go to the park when they saw Quinn driving off, both cheerleader stared at each other and nodded in silence as if both girls knew what the other was going to say. They followed the divas car that was been driven by the blonde. Once the car in front of theirs, they also stopped the car to see what the girls in the other car were going to do. They watched as both girls walked into the abandoned warehouse. They sat in the car waiting for the duo to come out again, but as the minutes passed and there was still no sign of the girl's leaving the building. Both girls got out the car to see what they were doing inside.

They entered the building looking around to find the two girls came in a while back. They heard movement coming from the far left of the building. As they approached, both girls saw Rachel standing not too far from the blonde that seemed to be staring inside a box.

"I think this was where she was staying whilst she was pregnant." The diva said to the girls that had just arrived and also started to watch the blonde. All three girls watched as Quinn started to pack her things in her bags.

They all grabbed the blonde's belongings, once she had packed all of her belonging which were not much but there was three big bags and a box that Quinn seemed to hold dearly to her. Rachel took the box whilst Brittney and Santana also grabbed a box. Rachel was the first one to leave the warehouse and put the box in the boot of her car.

The blonde girls things would not all fit in the brunettes car so they loaded the things in Santana's jeep as it was much bigger. Rachel and Quinn went back to her home in the divas car, whilst Santana and Brittney took Santana's jeep back to the blonde's home.

They unloaded the Latinas car and took all the blondes things to her room. The four of them then went for a walk and get something to eat. Rachel held on to the blonde the whole time they walked and even in the restaurant and even squeezed the girls hand to let her know that it was ok for her to eat.

Once the sun started to set the girls said their goodbyes to the blonde. Rachel slowly moved to the blonde to hug her, the hug was only one way but the blonde didn't move so Rachel stayed there a little while longer.

Rachel got home she was about to lock her car and go inside when she noticed that her car boot was opened. She went to go and shut it when she noticed the box, which the blonde had clucked on to like it was her life. They must have forgotten to put into Santana's car and put it with her other stuff.

She looked inside the box to see if there was something that blonde girl may need tonight. She saw a pink leather journal, a photo album, four diaries and bunch of letters; she turned the letters over and saw the name _**Samantha Quinn Fabray happy sixteenth birthday**_ she looked at the other letter so see who they were addressed to, they were all for her daughter: each letter for each birthday until she was sixteen.

She left the box in her car deciding that she shouldn't read the letters as they were personal for her daughter's eyes and no ne else's. She had dinner with her father's just as she always does and she videoed her MySpace video got ready for bed, but her mind was on the box that was currently residing in the trunk of her car. She got out bed and grabbed her car keys, as she opened the trunk she stared at the box for several minutes deciding on whether or not to break the blondes trust.

**Ok not too sure about the next chapter, so should Rachel read the letter and look though Quinn's personal belongings, let me know what I should do because I am kind of torn between the two. Don't forget to review coz I love to hear from you guys and it helps me write faster Hehehe blackmail. Oh and more Finn bashing in the next chapter for those of you that loved it lol. **


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter is shorter than the others but I just wanted to get this out here to see what you guys think of it. This chapter briefly describes child abuse in the physical and emotional department so if that's a trigger for anyone you might want to skip this chapter. Still UN bated so all mistakes are my own. Still don't own anything. Read and review love to hear what you guys have to say about it. enjoy**

Rachel stared at the box in her trunk for while trying to decide whether or not to read what the blonde had written to her daughter on her birthdays. She wanted to know what the girl was thinking and who the real Quinn was and the mystery that was this girl. But Rachel had no idea that her neighbour from three doors was watching her from her bed room window.

"What the hell are you doing out here?" The voice startled the diva.

"What are you doing here" asked the diva though shaky breathes.

"B said that you were standing behind your car for the past half hour and that she was scared that you weren't moving, so I came down to make sure you were still alive." the Latina said that now stood in front of the divas trunk, by the shorter brunette's side.

"Is Santana showing me Rachel berry some concern?" questioned the diva with a grin plastered across her face.

"Don't push your luck berry, I maybe tolerating you but that don't mean I won't kick your ass if I need to."The Latina replied who was also supporting a smile across her lips.

"Hey san did you find out why Rachel was standing outside her car?" the ditzy blonde asked as she made her way to the two girls.

"Um no not yet, I just asked her. So berry what's the deal with you? Why are you standing outside your car in the middle of the night?" The fiery Latina asked again.

"Well um when we put Quinn's stuff in your car I think we forgot to put this box in as well, so I looked inside to see if there was anything that she might need today, but when I saw what was inside," the diva trailed off in mid sentence.

"Well what was inside it?" asked Brittney.

"Take a look yourself." The diva stated. The two cheerleaders looked inside the box their expressions became curious as to what was written inside.

"I haven't read anything, I was just curious in knowing what she had written." The short brunette stated, before the girls could even question her.

"Do you think we should read them?" was the Latina's reply.

"I think we should, because that way we would know what Quinn was and is thinking right now, it's not like she is going to tell us." Brittney spoke up this time. The other two nodded in agreement to the girls logic into reading the ex cheerleaders person letters.

"Rachel honey, what are you doing outside at this hour?" came the voice of James berry Rachel's taller father.

"Nothing daddy, Santana and Brittney wanted to stay the night over. You don't mind do you?" Rachel said to the man that now seemed to be frowning at his daughter.

"Of course sweetie, why don't you girls come inside." The man said as he walked back into the house with the three of them following her, Rachel had grabbed the box on her way back into the house.

All three girls walked up to the short brunette's room. As they all sat Indian style across Rachel's bed, with the box in the middle of the three of them. Santana emptied the contents of the box on the divas bed. Rachel sorted the letter putting the letter for her sixteenth birthday at the bottom of the pile and the first birthday letter at the top. Brittney put the diaries and photo album and the journal to aside, whilst Santana put the box in the corner of Rachel's room.

They all picked up a letter and started to read, the letters were simple, they explained how Quinn loved her daughter and would do anything to make her happy, but as the age for the letters got older the blonde started to mention thing about how she loved her daughter and because of this love she had to give her up, there was also mentions of something else that she would explain as the girl grew older.

The letter to her sixteenth birthday was left Rachel had read the others; she picked up the letter and began reading it. This letter was the one that explained in detail why Quinn couldn't keep her daughter. The first two paragraphs explained in very little detail but told her to read the diaries for a proper understanding of everything.

Santana had read skimmed though the letter that Rachel was holding, Brittney was a slow reader and was still on the fifth letter.

Santana picked up the first diary that was written by Quinn when she was thirteen years old. As the girls read the diary, they couldn't believe what they were reading; Quinn had been physically and emotionally abused by her father.

**January 3****rd**

_Today dad hit me on the head with his whisky bottle because I was helping mom make dinner because Justine had to do her homework, I almost most dropped a plate and daddy saw me and called me a clumsy worthless daughter who should never have been allowed to be born. I am so hungry this is the third day hat daddy has sent me to bed without anything to eat. Mommy doesn't even sneak any food up to me anymore like she used to._

**February 10****th**

_Daddy is drunk and he grabbed me by my hair and pulled me down the stairs and pushed me into the wall and grabbed the cheese knife and put it to my throat, I could feel the pressure of the blade if he moved it a millimetre more towards me he would have killed me and ended my life, but no he just wanted to scare me. He pushed me to the floor and my head hit the table leg and now everything I see I fuzzy and I feel really sick, so I am going to bed maybe I will feel better if I get some so sleep talk to you tomorrow. _

These were written in the first diary when Quinn was thirteen years old. There were many more entries were the blonde wrote about how her father had physically abused her. They had read the first diary and had three left, slowly picking up the second diary and opening it to read about how Quinn was abused.

**January 16****th**

_I hate my life. I hate everything about myself. I bet if I just killed myself nobody would even notice I was gone, and if they did they would be glad that I was dead, they wouldn't mourn for me or even shed a tear, everyone would throw a party that I was gone ridded of this planet for good. Sometimes I wish dad would just hit me so hard that I would just die, like yesterday when he pushed me down the stairs, I hit my head so hard I thought that my life was about to come to an end but I don't have that kind of luck._

**March 25****th**

_Rachel stupid berry has the perfect life, she has two parents that want her and love her no matter what she wants or does and yet she still complains about how miserable her life is, how she wants to be popular. She is lucky that she is not popular because being popular gives you friends that are just your friends because of the power you get from being at the top, you never know who are your real friends and who are just faking it. I even think S and B are just using me know, they are always whispering about things, pulling themselves away from me._

**April 2****nd**

_That's it I have had enough, daddy doesn't want me, neither does mom or Justine I have no real friends so what the point of me even being on this earth if I am such a screw up. I stole my mom sleeping pills the other day and today I am going to be the last day I spend on this planet. Got to go moms calling me don't want to keep her waiting._

**April 3****rd**

_Mom called me last night asking if I had stolen her pills I looked guilty and mom found them and took them back, I want to kill myself but how I want it quick and painless because I don't want to be bought back if anyone hears me in pain._

**April 20****th**

_So I have been thinking about killing myself and decided that it was not the right Christian thing to do as it is considered a sin. But I want to get out of Lima so I have to study hard and get out of this town and never look back at the people or the town ever again .that's what I am living for no. That's my goal in life. _

The two girls were in tears once they had read the second diary, Brittney had picked up the first dairy as she had gotten to the last letter she read a few of the entries and started to sob loudly, Santana and Rachel both took the girl into her into their arms and held her. Santana wasn't going to let Brittney read anymore as the entries got worse and she knew that Brittney wouldn't be able to read the others and told the girl to look at the photo album that was also with the blonde's belongings.

They read the other diary which consisted in the blonde hating life and even worsen beatings she had gotten from her father who had started to drink even more and had become even more violent her father had become.

The last diary was last year when Quinn was pregnant at first it showed how scared the blonde was of her father killing her and her, how relieved she was that Finn the idiot had decided to tell her father though song which meant her dad wasn't going to attach her whilst he was around, her relief continued as he kicked her out of her home. She was smiling on the inside that there was no way her father could hurt her or her precious baby girl.

The diary entries also stated that she was right about how she really and truly had no friends when everyone had abandoned her when they found out about her pregnancy. There were also mentions of how Quinn had found the perfect family for her daughter to start her life with and how they would love her and accept her no matter whom she was and what mistakes she made in her life.

They looked though the journal where Quinn explained her fears to her daughter if she was ever to keep her, how her daughter would never get a chance to be herself and be happy she would always have to live in fear of her family because there was no telling what Russell Fabray would do to the poor girl, and if he was to ever hurt her Quinn would never forgive herself. She had also written poems and two songs about her feelings for her baby girl from her heart; Rachel had never read anything written so beautifully in her life, it was like a whole different side of Quinn that had never been seen by anyone.

The photo album was different it showed the blonde truly smiling a smile that none of the girls had ever seen graced on the blondes beautiful face. In each picture Quinn had her hands securely wrapped around her belly.

**Ok so I am not too sure about this chapter so please tell me what you think, I know a few of you didn't want Rachel to read but she needed to know what Quinn had been though so she could help her though all her problems so sorry if I disappointed you. Sorry but the Finn bashing will defiantly be in the next chapter, I kind of wanted to leave this chapter about Quinn's past and nothing else. Don't forget to review because it really does help me write faster. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter five is here. So I would like to thank everyone that reviewed alerted and favourited the story. Still UN bated so all the mistakes are my own. Don't own anything so don't sue. Read and review because I love to hear from you guys. Enjoy. **

The girls had been in Rachel's room for the past twenty two and a half hours. All three girls had finished going though Quinn's belongings. Each girl sat on the bed staring at few things that showed them that Quinn's life was not as perfect as they all had predicted and all the pain she had suffered.

"Did you know about any of this?" the diva asked not taking her eyes of the poem Quinn had written for her daughter.

"No she never told me anything. I don't get why she never said anything, me and B would have tried to help her out." Replied the brunette cheerleader whose eye were also on the diaries.

"Because she thought you were just her friend because of her looks and popularity. I don't get how she was able to keep this hidden for so long, I mean you like shower together after cheerio's practise so how did you not notice the marks on her body?" she questioned again.

"Q always stayed behind and did extra laps or went to go speak to coach about something, I always thought she was sucking up to coach, but I guess she was just waiting for everyone to leave so that she could be alone." She answered with a shrug.

"She was so alone; at least I had my dad's even though I never had any friends. I don't understand how she could just act like her life was perfect when it was far from it, someone must have noticed how miserable she was, she used to date Finn he must have known something wasn't right." Rachel asked hopefully.

"Berry, are you serious? Frankenteen is the world's biggest moron; he would have never known anything even if her dad hit Q in front of him. She's been living with this pain so long that she was told to act like everything was ok so she that's what she did. " Said the Latina slightly annoyed.

"I still think it would do no harm in asking, I wonder how she could handle keeping this kind of pain locked up inside herself for so long." She said.

"Look berry this is news to me so I don't know anything about nothing concerning Q ok, but we got to keep this shit to ourselves, we can't let Q find out that we read this stuff or she might lose it even more." She said.

"Girls you've been in here since last night, have you even had anything to eat" asked Rachel's other father George had said as he entered his daughter's room.

"Sorry Mr. Berry we were just leaving, see you tomorrow." the Latina said who had woken the blonde girl that had fallen asleep an hour ago. Both girls left the berry house and went home.

Rachel was having dinner with her father's when all she could think about was what Quinn had always wanted and Rachel was taking advantage; lost in her thoughts she dropped the dishes when she was clearing the table. Her father's just smiled and got up to help her clean up the mess that had been made; when the mess had been cleaned she tightly hugged both her father's telling them though sobs that she loved them and that they were the best parents anyone could have.

Both men were surprised at their daughter's reaction, they just held her until she was ready to let go. Once Rachel let her father's go, they were curious in what had gotten into their daughter, why her behaviour had become so different within the last time they had seen her yesterday.

Santana and Brittney were both thinking the same as Rachel when they both got home they went straight to their parents telling them that they loved them and that they were sorry if they had ever done anything to disappoint. They spent hat evening with their parents showing and telling them continuously. The six parents of all three girls weren't sure what had gotten into their daughters.

That night Rachel went to bed thinking about who the real Quinn was, because clearly the Quinn the world knew was all an act, the real Quinn wrote poetry and songs, wanted someone to hold her to be there for her love her for who she was. The poem was stuck in Rachel's mind, the simple yet meaningful words that came from her heart and made sense to Rachel as well as she thought about Shelby. She wished Shelby would have had done something like this for her.

The morning came by very quickly as sleep had welcomed Rachel very quickly, as she dreamed about Quinn being the person that she had locked up so deep inside Rachel thought that Quinn may have forgotten her true personality. She was on a new mission in life; she was going to get to be her true self no matter what happened.

After her morning routine Rachel grabbed her phone sending Santana a text telling the Latina to come pick to pick her up in half an hour. Santana and Brittney were at the berry's house, just when the blonde cheerleader was about to knock for her Rachel opened the door and got into the Latina's jeep. They made their way to Finn's house (much to Santana's protest Rachel insisted upon it, sayings she would sing show tunes whenever she saw the other brunette if they didn't go) to see if the boy knew anything about the blonde getting abused.

Finn opened the door with a goofy grin on his face, when he saw the three girls standing on the other side of the door his grin was transformed into a smirk. Gesturing with his had to let the girls know they could enter his home he followed them into the living room

"So you've come crawling back just like I said you would after that slut tore you apart." He said

"Actually Finn we came here to" the diva said.

"Yeah yeah there's no need to beg I will take you back under the condition that you never mention that bitch again." He said cutting the diva off.

"No Finn we actually came to ask you something but your arrogant ass wouldn't probably know any way." The diva said.

" Rachel that's no way to talk to me after I told you that you could be my girl friend again, you should be grateful that I haven't moved on yet, but if you do ever talk to me like that again I will dump you." exclaimed the boy.

"No Finn I will never want to get back together with you, all you ever want is someone that worships the ground you walk on and that's not me, and for your information Quinn has not even said a single nasty thing to me." She said.

"Well if you didn't come here begging for another chance, what do you want?" he asked.

"I wanted to know something but clearly you wouldn't be able to tell me even if it happened in front of your face because your that much of an idiot, and clearly I made the best decision of my life when I dumped you." the diva said in a huff as she started to walk out of the tall boys home.

"Rachel this was your last chance, I mean it now don't ever come back to me because the answer will be no, no matter how much you beg." He said as he followed the girls as they walked out, once Finn had finished his rant Rachel flipped him the bird without even turning around.

Santana had dropped Rachel of at the Fabray's as it was her day to spend with the blonde. She got to the girls room, she knocked once no reply she slowly opened the door to find Quinn laying in her bed with nothing on. Slowly Rachel realised that Quinn hadn't even showered today she helped the blonde up and took her toward the shower placing the blonde inside the shower Rachel switched on the water and left the girl to get clean.

As Rachel had helped the naked girl into the shower she couldn't help but see the faded arks that seemed permanent, she sat on the foot of the bed with her mind lost in thought about how to get Quinn to open up to her, she wanted to know the real Quinn, the one that wrote poetry and craved for someone to love her, be there for her and would be willing to do anything for the girl.

Quinn got the shower and made her back to her room to find Rachel sitting at the foot of her bed with various dresses laid out for her to pick, she picked the one closest to her and began putting her clothes on.

"So what do you want to do today?" the diva questioned. There was no reply. Rachel got off the bed and walked up to the girl who was standing in front of her bedroom window staring outside at nothing in particular, the shorter girl slowly reached for the blonde's hand to show the girl that she was not alone and that Rachel would always be there for her no matter what.

The girls made their way down stairs to leave the house Rachel said a quick goodbye to the two older Fabray women, she couldn't even look at them in eyes without wanting to hurt these two people who were suppose be Quinn's family.

They walked to Rachel's house which was only a fifteen minute walk. Once inside the house Rachel lead the girl upstairs to her bedroom, once in the room Quinn saw her box she went straight to it, opening it to see if it was what she had been looking for, for the past two days the reason she had been so upset this morning thinking that she had lost it or even left somewhere that she couldn't remember.

"I didn't check what was inside; if that's what you were worrying about." the diva lied. Quinn just stared at the box for a few minutes, before taking out the journal and opening it to the page where there was an ultrasound picture of her daughter's heartbeat. She gently stroked the picture with her thumb, Rachel watched curiously at what the blonde was doing and what she would do next.

As Quinn stroked the picture with her left, her right hand travelled down to her stomach, as she felt the flat stomach the true feeling that her baby wasn't with her in this world and she froze her heart started to beat faster and she was finding it harder to breathe as she truly had not grieved for her baby girl, so the reality had finally settled in.

Rachel noticed there was something wrong with the girl, so she slowly made her way to the girl and held her, Rachel could tell that Quinn was having difficulty breathing so she gently lay the girl on her bed and held her hand trying to calm the blonde down with reassuring words and holding her hand.

Rachel called for her father's to help her Quinn was starting to scare as the girl was still wasn't breathing right. Rachel's fathers came running into her room as the sound of Rachel's panicking voice. One of her father's went down to get the blonde some water while the other sat beside her as he reached to place a comforting hand Quinn winced and put her hands in front of her face as if she was afraid he might her.

"Daddy your scaring her." the diva said. She placed her own hands on the blonde. At this action the two Berry's noticed the blondes breathe calming to Rachel's touch.

When Rachel placed her hands on Quinn's face, a calming feeling came though the blonde at the soft but firm touch of the brunette. The gentle stroking Rachel was doing with her thumb and fore finger seems to help Quinn calm and her breathing was restoring back to normal. Quinn knew that Rachel was about to pull away and she just wanted to hold on to the reassuring feeling for a little while longer.

Rachel sensed that Quinn needed her to hold on a little while longer so Rachel kept close to the blonde whilst her hand continued the soothing motion on the girl's cheek. Rachel watched as Quinn closed her eyes and her heart beat calmed, Rachel realised that the girl had fallen asleep. She watched the girl sleep, the peace that evolved on the girls face was a truly breath taking scene, Quinn had the weight of the world on her mind yet when she was asleep she looked like an angel. Rachel had never seen such beauty.

After a while of watching the sleeping beauty, Rachel layed the sleeping girl on her bed and took off her shoes and put the sheets over the sleeping girl before making her way down stairs to her fathers. Rachel explained what Quinn was going though and what she had been though to her father's but she also made them promise to never say anything as the girl hadn't told her anything, she had intruded the blonde girls privacy and read her personal diaries without her permission.

**The next chapter will hopefully be more fluffy, and more Finn bashing as well. Let me know what you think or what I should include. Don't forget to review coz I really love hearing from you guys and I helps e write faster. **


	6. chapter 6

**Chapter six its shorter than usual because collage and work are really driving me crazy so updates will not be as frequent as they were but I will try and update twice a week if I can I make no promises people. This is the first time I have wrote something like this so please tell me what you think because I think it really sucks. Review and let me know what an awful job I have done with this. Enjoy.**

Rachel walked upstairs to check up on Quinn, when she got in to her room she saw the girl still sleeping. The sun was setting when Rachel realised that Quinn was probably not going to wake up and Rachel didn't have the heart to wake the girl, so she rang the sleeping girl's mother to let her know that he blonde would be staying over at Rachel's house for the night.

Dinner was quite at the Berry house, Quinn was still asleep, once Rachel had done her nightly routine, she decided against posting her my space video as the noise would wake her sleeping guest. She sat at the head on the bed staring at Quinn though the moon light. She watched at every facial expression the girl was making in her sleep and had to admit that Quinn had never been any cuter than she was when she was sleeping.

Sleep took Rachel over, but when she woke in the morning she found herself curled into the blonde making herself the big spoon. She found it unbelievably comfortable and natural laying in bed with Quinn in such an intimate position. She wanted to lay a little longer to relish this feeling of belonging.

She knew the sleeping girl would probably would freak out at the position they were in. What Rachel didn't know was that the blonde was awake; Quinn lay in Rachel's embrace feeling safe for the first time in her life. She wanted to stay in the comfort of the shorter girl for a little while longer.

Rachel thought that if Quinn woke up in Rachel's arms the girl would probably freak out, so Rachel started to move out of the position that she was in. She got out of bed and made her way to the shower, once Rachel was in the bathroom Quinn opened her eyes and lay on her back, thinking about how being Rachel's arms made her feel wanted, how the brunette could make Quinn feel like she was wanted without even trying.

Rachel got out of the shower, she walked into her bedroom with just a towel wrapped around her body, and Quinn saw Rachel's wet and almost naked body standing in the door way of her room, she quickly averted her eyes. Rachel saw Quinn turn her face and realised the girl was giving Rachel some privacy, which she considered a little crazy as Rachel had no uncertainties about her body of the way she looked.

"You can take a shower, there's shampoo and soap and everything you need in there." She said as she came out of her closet dressed in a pair of really short shorts and a pink tee shirt. Quinn got into the shower. Rachel went back into the closet to find something for the other girl to wear as Quinn had slept in her dress from yesterday and Rachel didn't want the girl to wear her old clothes again today.

Rachel found pair of jeans that her father had bought for her that was a little too big and a tee shirt, Rachel could still hear the water running, she knocked on the door there was no response, she waited a while but no sound came from the other side of the door so Rachel opened the door and walked into the bathroom and saw the girls form though the glass of the shower door with water dripping down her body whilst her hands were washing the mounds on her chest, she watched Quinn massage the breasts with her hand that were covered with lather from the body wash. Rachel watched as Quinn's hand slowly moved south of her body. Rachel was in a trance at the girl's body, her mouth went dry and there was a ache forming in between her thighs as Quinn's started to apply the lather to her lower regions of her body.

Shaking her head side to side to get her mind of the other girl's body, she placed the clothes on the hook that was on the door of the bathroom and took the girls old clothes with her to put them into the washing hamper. She walked out of bathroom with the ache still between her legs. She had to think about something absolutely repulsive to get her mind out of the gutter. The mail man was not working, neither was principal Figgins and couch Sylvester mud wrestling naked, these thoughts were no good it wasn't until she thought about Mr. Shue and couch Sylvester doing the dirty in choir room on top of the piano, that thought did the job very well as her whole body shuddered at the thought of the two teacher soiling the choir room and the piano, she would check the next time she was in school after summer vacation was over. Her thoughts were interrupted when Quinn walked out of the bathroom in a towel, looking around for her clothes but found nothing.

"I put some clothes for you on the hooks behind the bathroom door." Rachel said with her eyes glued on the floor as she didn't trust her mind to stay out of the gutter. Quinn went back into the bathroom to change; Rachel saw the girl's form retreating back into the bathroom she thought about how beautiful the girl truly was inside and out.

They left the Berry house once Rachel had pretty much forced Quinn to eat two strips of bacon, once Rachel had driven them back to the Fabray's home Quinn had her box of memories of her daughter clutched to her chest as if she was afraid that if she loosened her grip the box would drop of that she would lose her most precious possessions.

"hey there baby sis, what you got there?" asked Justine when she opened the door to the girls. Quinn went straight to her bedroom with Rachel trailing behind her. She watched as the girl went straight into her closet. Rachel thought the girl was going to change into own clothes but there was a noise coming from inside the closet that sounded like she was shuffling, and then there was a bang like something heavy or someone had fallen.

She quickly went into the closet to see if Quinn was ok. She saw Quinn on the floor with a load of journals and artist pads on the floor on top of her. Rachel helped the girl up and the two of them gathered the journals and the books that were full of drawings. The girls sat with the all the blondes drawing and her writing placed on the bed beside the girls, Quinn was only staring at the latest books and the letters that Rachel had already read.

"Can I take a look at them please?" the diva asked, the blonde just pushed her oldest book towards the brunette. Rachel slowly opened it to see the book filled with pictures of Quinn a family picture of Quinn and her father, sister and her mother. The older Fabray's were standing altogether with genuine smile on their faces whilst Quinn was in the corner isolated from the rest of her family with eyes full of tears.

She looked through the rest of the pictures which were all the same, where Quinn was lonely and depressed and wanting a family that would truly love her and accept her for who she is. Quinn's drawing spoke to anyone who would look at them; they showed all the girls vulnerability, the pictures of the blonde showed how she craved for a family that love her.

Once Rachel had looked though pictures the blonde girl had drawn she started to read though the girl's poetry which really spoke to Rachel about wanting a love from your parent so desperately that she was willing to do anything and everything to please that person, to try and gain that persons love and acceptance.

The day was spent with the girls looking though Quinn's pictures and reading her poetry. It was time for Rachel to leave. She got of the bed and walked up to the blonde and pulled her into a tight hug, holding her like she never wanted to let the girl go. She swore should feel the blonde relaxing and breathing a sigh of relief at the embrace. She reluctantly let her go, as her hand brushed passed the blondes breast Rachel felt her cheeks turn a shade of pink. Blushing shyly Rachel put her face down whispering a slight goodbye again and ran home.

Rachel returned home and went straight upstairs telling her father's that she had eaten at the Fabray's home and that she was tired and wanted to get some sleep. Her nightly routine was complete and Rachel got into bed. As she lay in bed Rachel could smell the blonde's scent on her pillows and her sheets. Rachel lay in bed and thought about this morning events, how her body had reacted to Quinn washing herself in the shower.

_I can't be gay, I mean I like guys, Finn puck and Jesse they were all guys so why did my body react like that this morning? I mean it never happened when I was having hot make out sessions with anyone so why did it happen when Quinn was washing herself. I cannot be gay, I don't have a problem with gay people, hello I was raised by two gay fathers and I am grateful but just because my parents are gay don't make me gay. I am not gay for Quinn Fabray, I mean she is beautiful nobody could deny that she writes the most amazing poetry and has a huge amount of creativity with her pictures, so what if she is smart, beautiful, creative and has the most amazing breasts in the world. OH MY GOD I AM GAY FOR QUINN FABRAY. _Were the thoughts in Rachel's mind?

_Okay so if I am gay for Quinn I have to get the Quinn out, but how do I do that she has suppressed her true self for so long that it is going to be near impossible, but I am Rachel Barbara Berry and I love a challenge, so tomorrow I start on trying to woo Quinn Fabray and no matter what I will succeed. _

**The ending is a really bad I know but it's all I could think of, so let me know what you think review please. Hopefully the next chapter won't be as bad as this.**


	7. Chapter 7

**I know its short but I just wanted to update since its been ages since I haven't, and I am really sorry for the lack of updates recently but I've come down with the flu and a tooth ache so my heads not working properly so sorry if this chapters a bit off I blame it on my meds, hopefully next one will be better and longer and I will put up before Friday. Read and review. enjoy **

Rachel spent the next two days secluded in her bedroom thinking of activities Quinn would like and things that may make her comfortable enough to be her true self rather than the isolated person she was pretending to be. She researched on the internet for things the two could do together. After her second day she had pretty much planned out exactly what she was going to do and how she was going to get Quinn out of the shell she had been forced into for so long.

The next morning Rachel arrived at the Fabray house to pick the blonde up, greeting Judy and Justine at the door she made her way up to the blondes room, she wanted to give the girl some privacy as she could be changing and Rachel did not want to see Quinn naked again because god knows how she would react she would probably jump the blonde. After she knocked and waited for a few moments there was no reply just like there never was, she entered the room to find Quinn sitting on the bed with her head and back against the headboard.

Quinn was in a deep thought as she thought about what her daughter would be doing now if she was alive. Rachel slowly walked up to the blonde and placed a hand on the girls shoulder and squeezed it lightly to let the blonde know of her presence. Once Quinn felt someone squeeze her shoulder her mind went blank and she stared at Rachel.

"Come on Quinn, we have to go." She said holding her hand out for the blonde to take it, but Quinn never took the girls hand just got of the bed by herself. Rachel interlocked her fingers with Quinn's and the two made their way down stairs and out of the house once Rachel said her goodbyes to the two older Fabray women. Judy and Justine tried to say goodbye to their daughter but Quinn just dismissed them and walked out of the house with Rachel following behind her.

They drove in silence; Rachel seemed to be taking Quinn to a different town but what were they going to do watch some stupid musical, Quinn really didn't want to go with Rachel in the first place but now she thought the diva was going to force her watch some lame ass musical. She started to squirm in her seat; Rachel noticed the slightly agitated blonde and put her hand over the other girls to calm her down.

When Rachel placed a hand on top Quinn's, she felt calm her body began to relax to Rachel's touch she couldn't explain it but whatever it was, it was scaring her she had only ever felt calm with her daughters presence and she left and how the hell was Rachel's touch making her body relax. She thought maybe it's because she hasn't had anyone hold her or touch her with sincerity and honesty.

They stopped at a small building; it was too small for a theatre. Rachel got out the car and rushed to the passenger side of the door for the blonde before Quinn could do it herself; once the car was locked Rachel took Quinn's hand and interlocked it with her own fingers. They walked into the building Quinn noticed that it was an art exhibition, Rachel watched as Quinn became so immersed with the art that she seemed to have forgotten all of her worries.

They spent the whole morning and afternoon at the exhibit, it was only when Rachel's stomach started to grumble that they had realised that they had spent the whole their entire day there, Quinn so wrapped up in the art and Rachel watching the blonde's expressions and relief as her plan to get the real Quinn out of her shell was working, if Quinn enjoyed herself it made Rachel smile even more bigger if possible.

Rachel took Quinn to a nearby Chinese restaurant and ordered for both of them, she watched as Quinn just played with her food not even trying to eat the food. She was desperate to get the blonde to eat Justine had said that Quinn's eating habits were still not good, she would barely even look at her food let alone eat it.

"Quinn just take one bite like you did with the pizza and if you don't like it then you don't need to eat, but just give it a try at least?" she said to the blonde but the blonde just acted as if she didn't hear what Rachel had said she wasn't in the mood to eat.

"Do you want me to feed you? Just don't say anything and I will take that as a yes." she asked cleverly in the hope to get the other girl to talk to her. But Quinn didn't answer her and Rachel picked up the vegetable spring roll and placed at the blonde's lips waiting for her to part them so she could take a bite. But no luck Quinn's lips stayed sealed.

"Please Quinn just one bite? That's all I ask, do you think you can do it for me?" she said with the roll still beside Quinn's lips, she looked at the lips only to see them slowly part and then her teeth small bite into the roll. She smiled Quinn eat because Rachel had asked her, she listened to the brunette even when she didn't pay attention to anyone else. Rachel feed Quinn that roll and she watched as Quinn's lips looked so moist and how kissable the blonde looked as she bit into the roll each and every time, she was in a trance by the blonde's lips.

The two made their way home to find Justine home alone waiting for Quinn as the two entered she asked Rachel to leave as she had something important to talk to Quinn about and it was a conversation for the two sisters only. Rachel was a little reluctant to leave as she remembered how Justine would get Quinn into trouble to save her own ass.

"Listen Quinn we need to talk." She said as she walked into the dining area and stood at the far end.

"It's about everything I've been the worst sister ever, I get that but I was scared and daddy always seemed angry at you so it was just easy for me to say that it was your fault even though it never was, I tried to tell him to stop and that it wasn't right but he never listened and said that you had been trying to brainwash me and he would just even more pissed at you and hurt you even more." She said as her tears started to form in her eyes. Quinn didn't seem to be bothered with her sister's confession.

"I prayed for you every night and just hoped that he would never hurt you ever again, I was a coward I should've protected you as your big sister but I was petrified myself. It was my job as your big sister to make sure that no harm comes to you but I couldn't even do that and I never even bothered to make sure you were okay after he left you." She said though sobs that didn't even mean a single thing to the blonde, she was never there to make sure that daddy never hurt her again in fact she was the one that caused sometimes.

"I know you will probably never forgive me for what I have done to you but just at least give me a try?" she whispered as she walked up to the blonde and put a hand on the younger girls shoulder.

"Give us both a chance Quinnie, I know we don't deserve it but I will do anything and everything in my power to make it up to you no matter how long it takes just let us try?" said Judy as she walked into the room and placed her hand on the younger blondes other shoulder. Quinn just stood there motionless and wanted nothing that to run into her room but for the hell in she couldn't move her legs, she didn't know why her moms and sisters speech had affected her so much but it did. The tree of them just stood in their position waiting for the next move, Judy and Justine for Quinn to make the next move, Quinn just stood there waiting for legs to move so she could run away.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter eight as promised on Friday, anyway there wasn't much Faberry in the last chapter so this chapter is pretty much filled with it. The lack of feedback from the last chapter tells me it wasn't that good so hopefully this one is better, can't really say that it is as I am still not feeling too good. Don't own glee or any of its character's. Un bated all mistakes are my own. Read and review. Enjoy. **

Once Quinn's legs started to work again she ran straight to her bedroom and locked the door so that there was no way any could get in. She lay on the bed thinking about why her mother and sister words affected her so much why couldn't she just brush them aside. Why did she eat when Rachel had just asked once? Why did Rachel's touch always calm her? Why did her family's pleas seem genuine, when she knew that they were just trying easing their own guilt?

She thought about how Rachel's company seemed to help Quinn with grief of losing her daughter. Whenever Rachel touched her it wasn't forced or had hidden motives behind her touches like Finn or Puck did whenever they touched her. She felt a warm feeling of comfort and that someone wanted her every time Rachel held her hand or hugged her.

The next day Rachel had picked the blonde up and driven them to park on the outskirts of Lima that looked neglected but there was a secluded area that was veiled by trees, Rachel held Quinn's hand with one hand and with the other she carried a picnic basket and she also had a rucksack that was packed. Once Rachel looked happy with the spot she laid out a blanket and sat on it and grabbed Quinn's hand and pulled her down.

"I know how you like art and stuff so I thought you might like it here, where it's quite and you can just draw and be yourself." She said as she emptied the contents from her backpack. Quinn watched as Rachel unpacked all sorts of art equipment and note books for her poetry and an art pad for her to draw in.

"You can take it? It's your I bought it for you." She said as she pushed the stuff towards the blonde, who just looked at them like the objects were aliens. Rachel watched as Quinn studied the stuff she had unpacked, after about half an hour Quinn picked up the book and a pencil and started to draw and Rachel sighed in relief, she was slowly helping the real Quinn out.

Rachel practised her vocal exercises and ballet whilst Quinn drew. She checked her watch to see what the time was and saw that it was two pm and that they should eat something, so she started to unpack the food she had bought for the two of them.

"Quinn let's eat and then you can back to your drawing okay?" she asked as she placed a hand on Quinn's knee. Quinn placed the book down and sat on the blanket and she just stared at the food the brunette had prepared.

"Do you want me to feed you again?" she asked when she noticed Quinn hadn't even touched her food. Quinn quickly picked up the sandwich and took a small bite not wanting to other girl to feed her as if she was a child.

Rachel noticed the expression on Quinn's face when she said she would feed her, she looked like she had just been told that had been caught sneaking cookies when they weren't allowed to. She smiled a hundred watt smile and placed on of her hands on Quinn's, just for the contact for herself and showing her support of Quinn eating. Once they had both eaten Rachel was about to pack the Tupperware boxes away, when Quinn picked them up to help the brunette Rachel smile and her eyes sparkled with happiness.

Once they had cleared up Quinn lay on her stomach facing the brunette and picked up the pencil and started to draw again, Rachel just sat there with her sheet music and stared at the blonde that was completely lost in her drawing that she didn't even notice Rachel's staring at her. Rachel had completely forgotten about her music as she watched the blonde's facial expressions when she was drawing like how her nose would crinkle up when something wasn't right or when her eyebrows would scrunch up in confusion or the twinkle in her eyes when it was just right.

The phone rang and broke Rachel of her trance; she answered the phone barely listening to the other person on the end seeing that she still staring at the laying blonde girl. She heard her father's voice asking what time she would be home answering soon she hung up and checked the time, it was seven fifteen, she had been staring at Quinn for the past four hours and fifteen minutes and it only felt like it was a few moments.

"Quinn we have go home, it's getting late." She said while her hand touched the blondes. Quinn looked up at Rachel for the first time since she had started drawing again. She help the brunette pack everything and as they were about to leave Rachel locked her fingers into Quinn's. They loaded up the trunk with basket and backpack and Rachel walked over to Quinn's door and opened it for her again. She quickly walked over to her own seat and began driving half way through the drive Rachel positioned her hand on top of Quinn's. Once Rachel reached the Fabray house she shut the engine off and sat there in silence for a moment before she said.

"Do you want to go back tomorrow again?" she asked. She was received with silence.

"Squeeze my hand if you want to go back tomorrow?" she asked again and this time she felt the other hand in hers gently press hers. Rachel then smiled and got out the car and walked Quinn to her front door and then made her way back to her car and drove off with sheer delight. She got home and had dinner with her fathers and told them about her progress with the blonde and how the day was one her best days of her life. She finished her nightly routine and got into bed with a smile plastered on her face. She thought about how Quinn in her own way made contact with her and how the blonde listened to her and how tomorrow was going to be just like today was, with that thought planted in her mind she fell into a happy and deep slumber.

The next two weeks Quinn and Rachel would go back to that park and both would do their own thing, while Rachel would occasionally catch herself staring at the blonde. Quinn still wouldn't speak to her but the two of them had a language of their own, where Rachel would ask Quinn something and her response would come from a gentle clutch of her hand. The two had gotten into a routine, they enjoyed each other's company, Rachel would get to see a different side to Quinn than anyone else whilst Quinn felt like she belonged and wanted for the first time in her life.

Brittney was at the Fabray house before Rachel one day; she wanted to spend time with the blonde. Rachel knocked on the door like she always did and when she entered she spotted the ditzy blonde cheerleader there.

"Hey Britt where's Santana? What you doing here?" she asked.

"Sans families in town so she has to spend time with them and not me so I thought I could chill with Quinn for the day since she is my second best friend." The blonde answered. Rachel and Brittney made their way up to Quinn's room to find Quinn was already waiting for Rachel but she was not expecting Brittney to be with the brunette and she was half expecting Santana to burst through the door as well.

"Brittney wanted to spend the day with us because Santana has family visiting and you're her second best friend, just squeeze my hand if you want her to come." She said in a whisper. Queen tugged the brunettes hand and Rachel smiled.

"Britt you can't tell anyone about the lace we are going to because it's our secret hideout and no one knows okay. Do you promise you won't tell anyone not even Santana?" she said as Brittney nodded frantically.

The three of them went to the park and it was like any other day for Quinn she just lay on the blanket and drew, whilst Brittney taught Rachel a new dance routine, the three ate and Brittney couldn't believe her eyes when she saw the blonde pick up her food and eat by herself without any one forcing her, Quinn's eating habits with Rachel had changed but she still didn't eat at home and Justine always told her and Santana about how she was worried that Quinn wasn't eating.

Everything was cleared up Quinn got back to her picture and Rachel and Brittney back to the dance routine that she was teaching the diva. The two were dancing together when they both fell and landed on top of each other both broke out in fits of laughter and a small smile appeared on Quinn's face which did not go unnoticed by either girl. Brittney's phone rang and she picked it up to see that it was Santana on the other end.

_Brittney; Hey San what's up?_

_Santana; Nothing much everyone's gone so I can hang with you now, where are you I will come pick you up._

_Brittney; can't hanging with Quinn and Rachel at this secret place that I can't tell you about._

_Santana; come on Britt just tell me so we can all hang together._

_Brittney; can't I made a promise and it's a secret._

_Santana; okay call me when your back from you secret place and we can chill at my place mom and dad have gone with everyone else so I got the place to myself._

_Brittney; okay bye San I will call you later._

She hung the phone up and the three of them went back what they were doing. The three of them headed back home when Brittney sent Santana a text telling her to pick her up from Quinn's house, As Rachel pulled into the Fabray driveway she spotted Santana's car already there. The three walked into the house and were greeted by Judy, Justine and Santana in the living area. Quinn just walked straight upstairs not really wanting to be near any of them.

"So berry, a little birdie tells me that you and Q have been hanging out a lot, so what do you do? And where the fuck do you take her?" Santana asked.

"Be nice S. Rachel and Quinn go to this secret place and they hang out Q draws and Rachel sings and dances and she even eats the food that Rachel takes with her in the picnic basket. It's really nice and quiet and we had a lot of fun, me and Rach even made Quinn smile today." Brittney said as she sat down beside the brunette cheerleader.

"Quinnie really eats with you? I mean like a proper meal and she actually smiled?" questioned Judy.

"Yeah she does and she likes hanging with Rachel like really" Brittney answered for the diva with a smile of her own.

"How often does she smile?" asked a curious Justine that couldn't contain her own grin.

"Today was the first time, me and Brittney fell when we were practicing a dance routine and the two f us started laughing and Quinn smiled." Rachel answered. The six of them sat in the Fabray living room all in their own way thinking about the blonde girl that was currently up stairs.

"We should have a sleep over with Mercedes, Tina, Kurt and all of us lot, it would be super fun and maybe we could get Quinn you laugh again?" Brittney said breaking the silence in the room.

"I think that's a good idea." Judy replied. The others nodded in their agreement.

"Don't worry about anything I will call everyone and we can have the sleepover the day after tomorrow. Come on B lets go." Santana said whilst she got up and left and Rachel and Brittney followed the Latina out of the house as they waved to the two women that lived there.

Rachel got home thinking about how this sleepover could get Quinn to open up more or push her away and ruin all of the hard work Rachel had done to get the real Quinn out. Whatever the outcome of this sleepover Rachel wasn't going to give up the smile Quinn gave her and Brittney today was enough proof that Quinn was starting to heal even though she still hadn't cried or properly grieved for her daughter yet but she was letting Rachel slowly and once Rachel breaks all of Quinn's walls down she would help her heal and grieve for her daughter.

The next day as Rachel and Quinn got to the park Rachel sat on the blanket and just watched Quinn paint, how was she going tell Quinn? What was her reaction going to be like?

"Quinn we need to talk." She stated with a slight quiver in her voice. Quinn put her paints down and turned to the diva. She stared at the other girl for five minutes and Rachel was still silent and Quinn was getting really worried.

"We are going to have a sleepover at your house." She said in a whisper. Quinn just sat there staring at the other girl without blinking, this is the reason Rachel was acting strange and why was she scared.

"With Santana, Brittney, Tina, Kurt, Mercedes and us two with you sister at your house." She said out load with her eyes glued to the blonde in front of her. Quinn just sat here motionlessly not even blinking. How was she even get though it if she couldn't get out of this sleepover? How was she going to cry herself to sleep with everyone there?

**Next chapter sleepover I already have most of it written so it should be up by Monday or Tuesday the latest. Don't forget to review because it makes me write faster and update faster (blackmail hehehe;)) **

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	9. Chapter 9

**So here's chapter nine, I hope it lives up to your expectations. I would like to thank everyone who helped me with what to do, I have finally decided which way I am going with this and no I am not going to tell you (insert evil laugh) you have read it to see where it goes lol. Read and review and let me know if I went he right way with this. Thank you. Enjoy. **

The next morning Rachel arrived at the Fabray house to pick up the up the blonde for their day in the park. Rachel studied Quinn as she entered the room; her eyes were still not showing any signs of emotion. Quinn hadn't rejected any of Rachel's touches yet because it had calmed her. They made their way to the park Quinn seemed more zoned out than usual. Like her body was there but her mind was in a completely different place.

Quinn didn't bother to draw at all; she seemed to just sit on the blanket and staring off in to space and not even acknowledging the brunette that had her eyes fixed on the blonde. The sleepover wasn't going to go well in Rachel's opinion; she wanted to call the whole thing off because as soon as Quinn had heard about the sleepover she seemed to have put the walls back up that Rachel had tried so hard to get them slightly down.

They headed back to the Fabray house; Rachel dropped Quinn off and headed back home to collect her overnight bag. Quinn just walked inside the place she once called home, but now it was it just a roof over her head to find her sister and mother setting up make up and movies for the sleepover. She just walked upstairs and went straight to her bathroom; she sat on the toilet and just silently sobbed for her daughter until there were no more tears left to left in her eyes.

She sat on her bed as she heard the door bell ring countless times, each time indicating that someone else was here when she clearly didn't want them to be. She could hear their mindless chat about nothing in particular.

"Quinnie come down your friends are all here." Judy yelled over the noise coming from the living room. She took a huff of a deep breath and began to walk to the one place in the house she currently didn't want to be in. She had made her way down the stairs and the room become so silent that you could hear a pin drop and she could feel everyone's eyes on her. The door bell rang again and the blonde made her way to the front door to answer it, once the door opened it revealed the last guest for the slumber party.

Rachel entered the house and bought the blonde into a hug, after a few moments she felt Quinn's arms around her waist returning the hug. Quinn didn't know what had possessed her to return the hug but when Rachel had her arms around her neck she wanted nothing more than to return the embrace and relish in the sanity of the brunettes touch.

The group of people saw the encounter between the two and Brittney rushed over to the blonde and embraced her into a hug hoping for the other blonde to return her hug too. Quinn couldn't deny Brittney's request of a hug and gently put her arms around her, the only person that would show her the time of day when she was pregnant, Brittney would always send the blonde genuine smile whenever she saw the blonde or how she would leave her apples or a different fruit in her locker everyday trying to be mysterious and there was always a note telling her that it was good for her and the baby with a picture of a smiling duck on the end, so Quinn knew it was from Brittney because there was on two people in the whole school that knew her locker combination, which were Brittney and Santana, she knew Santana wouldn't give her the time of day so that left Brittney.

Everyone saw Quinn hugging Brittney as well and they all rushed to give the blonde a hug but each and every person was refused as Quinn folded her arms over her chest in a protective manner to stop all of their advances. They all wondered back to the living room where they all sat on the floor and everyone began to talk about the ex cheerleader in their own little groups, Mercedes, Tina and Kurt, Santana and Brittney and Judy and Justine. Rachel faced the blonde and placed a hand on top of the blonde's knee. Quinn could hear everyone's whispers about how she hugged the diva and the ditzy blonde cheerleader.

The pizza had arrived and everyone started to eat other than two people, whilst the blonde stared at the food like it was about to kill her Rachel's gaze was fixated on the blonde, hoping she would have the courage to pick up the slice and take a bite but to no avail.

"Quinn pick it up and take a bite please." She whispered in the blonde's ear, but request was unanswered.

"If you don't eat then I am not going to either, you don't want me stay hungry all night do you Quinn?" she whispered to the blonde again, her plea still went unanswered. Quinn couldn't eat in front of these people; they would all stare at her like she had two heads. Rachel pushed the plate of pizza that had her slice away.

They all saw the exchange between the two girls, Judy and Justine both hoping that the blonde would have her first properly meal with them. No one even noticed how the blonde clutched to her stomach.

After they all ate Kurt had spotted the makeup kits and insisted that everyone (especially Rachel have a makeover) everyone got into groups of two Brittney and Santana, Mercedes and Tina, Judy and Kurt and lastly Rachel and Justine, Quinn just ignored their pleas to join them. She lay on the couch watching the group of people act as if nothing was wrong.

How could they just pretend that nothing ever happened? How could she smile when her daughter had died only six weeks ago? How could she try on move on? How could she try and forget her own daughter when she was with Rachel? Why was she alive and not her daughter in her place? Why did her daughter have to die for her mistake? Why couldn't it have been her life that was taken? How could she forget what these people had done to her last year? These were the questions that were spinning around in the blondes head as her gave was on Rachel.

"Hey do you want a go? Asked Justine when she saw the blonde staring at them, the younger Fabray just closed her eyes and let mind fill with guilt because she was trying to move on and forget about the one person that had ever loved her truly.

The group of people gathered in front of the TV as they all decided to watch a movie. Rachel, Quinn Justine, Santana and Brittney on the huge couch and the others just gather around on the floor whilst Judy took residency on the single couch. About half way through the movie Quinn couldn't take it anymore so she just got up and went straight to her mother's bathroom and picked up something.

She then went to her own bedroom and changed into her sleeping clothes. After that she went to her own bathroom and placed the item that she had stolen from her mother's bathroom in the cabinet of her own bathroom out of sight. She then went to her bed and placed her hand under her pillow and found her daughters sonogram staring at the picture her tears were starting to flood though her eyes and soaked her through her pillow. She didn't know how long she had laid there crying for the guilt she was feeling for killing her own daughter. There was a knock on her bedroom door she quickly closed her eyes not wanting to see or hear anyone. The door opened to reveal Rachel tightly clutching on to her overnight bag, looked slightly scared, like she was about to commit a grave sin or something.

"Everyone said that I should sleep in your room." She said in a voice that was not as quite a whisper but not her regular tone of voice. She stepped into the room and looked at the blonde and thought she was sleeping and decided to go to the bathroom and change her clothes and get rid of the makeup that was plastered on her face.

She got into the bed under the covers and looked over to the blonde thinking that she was a sleep and put her arms around the blonde when she felt and heard the sound of paper pressed between the blondes hand and her stomach. She slowly sat up and lifted the covers to find the picture of Samantha's sonogram.

"Oh Quinn" Rachel whispered as she took the picture from Quinn's death grip. She looked at it slightly with a tear forming in her own eyes.

"I wish I had taken the time to get to know you when I had the time." She said as she placed a gentle kiss to the picture and placed it on top of Quinn's heart and put Quinn's hand on top of the picture to keep it in place. She then placed the sheets on top of the two of their bodies. She then looked at the blonde and saw a beauty that she had never seen before, because the sight of Quinn sleeping was sight that defined true radiance in Rachel's eyes. She then moved a stray hair from Quinn's face and placed behind her ear and kissed her gently on her forehead.

Quinn heard Rachel enter the room again after she came out of the bathroom, she hoped the girl thought she was sleeping and wouldn't bother her, when Rachel held her she could feel her heart beat racing, and then Rachel found the picture that she was holding and she gripped the picture harder praying that Rachel would just leave the picture in her hands if it was in a tight grip, but Rachel had managed to get the picture out of her hands and she wanted to scream and then Rachel began whispering to her daughter sonogram and her heart felt like it had stopped beating and then when she placed it on Quinn's heart, she felt like her breathes were out of control and need to sit up and gasp for air but she kept her self under control. The last thing she was expecting was Rachel to kiss her but what was strange was that Rachel's kiss messed up her breathing even more and heat was rising to her forehead where Rachel had kissed her.

Once Quinn was sure Rachel had fallen asleep she removed her hand from her heart and looked at the sonogram and realisation came over her. She knew exactly what she needed to do, she looked at Rachel for a few moments in contemplating her decision but the more she watched Rachel sleep her mind went to how her daughter would look like when she was sleeping.

In that train of thought she got out of bed and walked to in to the bathroom and took out the bottle from she had stolen from her mother's bathroom earlier that night. She looked at the bottle and thought about the consequences to her actions but then images of her daughter laying in cold dark grave flooded through her mind. If her daughter couldn't live because she killed her then she had no right to either. She emptied the contents of the bottle in to her hand once she had gotten a bottle of water, stared at the sleeping pills that would put her to sleep forever. She threw the pills into her mouth and she drank the water and closed her eyes, the eyes that were never going to open again. A few moments later she felt her body go limb and the pills had taken effect on her body. She was going to see her daughter and she was going to be punished for the greatest crime ever committed by any person, the crime of killing your own innocent child.

Rachel was woken up with the sound of a load bang coming from the bathroom, she looked to her side to check if Quinn was still asleep but the blonde wasn't asleep in the bed she ran towards bathroom door with the panic, she tried to open the door but had no luck as it was locked. She even tried to bang the door open but her petite figure wasn't strong enough. She needed help.

"HELP! HELP! SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP." Screamed at the top of her lungs, within seconds the room was filled with the other people that were currently in the house.

"It's Quinn, I heard a bang and the door it's locked I tried to push it open but I can't and ... And there's no noise coming from inside the bathroom." Rachel said with fear in her voice and also appearing on her face.

"Right everyone we are going to have to break the door down." Santana said as the group of girl all rammed in to the door, after the third time of them all running into the door did the door fly open to reveal the blonde laying on the floor unconscious. Judy and Justine ran up to the blonde and the others just stood there and gaped at the blonde laying on the floor.

Rachel's eyes left the blonde and they landed on the empty bottle of sleeping pills on the counter, she was suddenly aware of what the blonde had done, she gasped at the fear of Quinn trying to take her life. Santana heard Rachel's gasp and looked at the girl only to follow the girls gaze and see what Rachel had just spotted a few moments ago.

"JJJJ... Justine look!" she said with horror lacing her murmur, as she pointed at the counter, Justine's eyes followed where Santana was pointing and screamed at the sight.

"What the hell! Please someone to call an ambulance now. Mom she has over dosed on your sleeping pills." She screamed as she held the blonde.

"Quinnie please hold on everything's going to be okay, you're going to be fine and then we are going to do everything to get you to be happy." Judy said as she cradled her daughter.

**So what did you think I did the right thing sorry to everyone that wanted Quinn to get better but the more I thought about it the more my mind was screaming at me to do it this way. Next chapter is going to be huge in the development in the Faberry department. Don't forget to let me know what you think. And this chapter is up earlier than I predicted because of all of you guys support so thank you and I hoped you liked it. **


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay people chapter ten. I am guessing that from the lack of interest from chapter nine none of you knew that I replaced the chapter the chapter on Sunday night so you may want to go back and read that first and then this one. And don't forget to review coz it makes write me faster. Oh don't own glee or any of its characters, still UN bated so all mistakes are my own. Read and review. Enjoy. **

The group of people watched as the paramedics loaded the blonde into the ambulance and Judy got in the back with her, whilst Kurt, Tina and Mercedes carpooled together and Brittney, Justine, Santana and Rachel got into Santana's jeep and made their way to the hospital, once the jeep had reached the hospital everyone seemed to run into the hospital but Rachel's body and mind had frozen, at thought of losing Quinn, how was going to ever going to forgive herself, Quinn had tried to kill herself when Rachel was suppose to protect her, she had let the blonde down.

"Hey Berry you coming or what?" asked Santana once she had gotten out the, but Rachel couldn't move so Santana helped her out of the car. The group were waiting for any news on the blonde when two women ran into the waiting area.

"How's Quinn?" asked the older woman. The group of people looked at the two strange women that had just arrived, wondering who these two women were.

"You came to Quinn's daughter's funeral?" Rachel asked the two women.

"Yeah we were at funeral." The shorter woman said. They group recognized the two women but still didn't know anything about them and would probably ask later.

"Are you going to tell us what happened to Quinn and how she is?" asked a frustrated Carly.

"She tried to commit suicide." Santana mumbled.

"WHAT! Why would she even consider suicide? What the hell was she thinking?" asked a very pissed Carly.

"We don't know. She doesn't talk to any of us any of us, Rachel and Quinn have been spending a lot of time together and she said that Quinnie was slowly showing improving so we decided to have a sleepover to show her that we were all here for her but I think that it just made it worse." Judy answered.

"Ok which one of you is Rachel?" asked Addison, the others pointed to the diva and Rachel raised her hand.

"Right your coming with me we are going to talk in private for a little while." Addison said as she grabbed the brunette's wrist.

"I will call you if you if we hear anything, use max's office so that way I know where you are?" replied Carly as Addison nodded and dragged the stunned and speechless diva along with her.

Right what's going on with Quinn" Addison said as she shut the door to the office.

"Uhm what do you want to know?" she asked nervously never meeting the younger woman's eyes.

"Everything, why did Quinn trust you and not anyone else?" she asked again.

"I... I wanted to spend time with Quinn so I just took her to this park that's pretty much neglected and we would just hang out and she would just paint or draw whilst I practiced my singing and or ballet." Rachel said with a sigh.

"Okay what's with the change of heart, because I know for a fact that no one wanted to know her when she was pregnant so why know? And don't even bother trying to lie to me because I can tell when a person is lying to me?" she asked.

I guess because when she was pregnant she didn't seem so depressed but when I use to go to see her every day after the funeral I realized that she wasn't grieving properly and that she was repressing her emotions which would end in a deep depression and she might do something like... what she has done." She said back to the woman.

"Okay that's understandable. I want you to explain to me how Quinn was before she knew about this sleepover and how she changed once she knew about it and tell me every single detail of what happened tonight?" she said.

"Well we started going to the park about two weeks at first she wouldn't eat or even do anything but the more time we spent together the more comfortable she goy and the more she seemed to relax around me, she still wouldn't talk to me but we had this way of communicating where I would ask her a question and hold her hand and if it was yes then she would lightly squeeze it and if not she wouldn't move, the other day Brittney came with us and we were practising whilst Quinn was painting and me and Britt fell and started to laugh and then Quinn looked up at us and she gave us this small but sweet smile, it was like the sweetest smile I have ever seen on her or anyone in matter of fact, it was only planted on her face for a few seconds and then it disappeared." Answered Rachel shyly, whilst Addison lips formed a smirk in understanding that the brunette in front of her had a crush on Quinn.

"So what happened after you told her about the sleepover?" she asked with slight amusement in her voice.

"Well I told her yesterday at the park and she kind of froze up it was like her body was with me but her mind was somewhere else, I tried to talk to her and even when I held her hand she usually would lightly hold on to mine but then she wouldn't and I let her down I knew that this stupid sleepover was going to end in disaster but I didn't do anything to stop it and now Quinn is fighting for her life because she tried to kill herself." She said as her sobs consumed her body, Addison walked up to the diva and held her.

"It's okay, she's going to get better then I am going to kick her ass, and It wasn't your fault she should have said something, right how's Quinn been coping with Sam's death, I mean how does she relieve her grief like yell or scream or even cry?" she asked the now calm brunette whom was still in her arms.

"She doesn't do anything, I have never seen her cry and she hasn't said a word since the day of Samantha's death. She just keeps it all locked up inside." Rachel said to the taller brunette that was still holding on to her. The two spoke for the next hour, they got to know each other, Rachel got an insight to what he real Quinn was like in person from Addison, whilst Addison figured out that the brunette was crushing very hard on the blonde.

In the waiting room Carly explained to the group of people how she and Quinn had met, they were introduced by Addison who is Carly's little sister, Quinn worked part time at the coffee shop that Addison also worked at the two had become friends and Addison had introduced them to one another. She also explained how she knew that Quinn was in the because her husband max was the one who was treating the blonde and asked one of the nurses to call her and tell her to get down to the hospital because there was something wrong with Quinn. Rachel and Addison walked back into the waiting area; Addison was holding a very upset brunette.

"What did you do to her?" asked Carly.

"Nothing we just talked and got to know each other, she's just upset that Quinn's in there fighting for her life." She answered back as she sat the diva down and walked up to her sister and whispered something in her ear that was inaudible to the others. The older sister looked at the brunette with a small sad smile.

Max came through the doors and walked up to the group asking if he could speak to Judy alone but she didn't mind if everyone knew what he was going to say, everyone in that room cared extremely for the blonde. He told them that they had pumped out all of the pills but there may be side effects to this like nausea and she would feel light headed and rather sleepy for a while. He also told them that they could all she her once she was conscious.

Carly and Addison walked behind max as he left the room, they all walked into his office and within a few seconds they were back with the rest of the group of people hat cared for the blonde. Carly and Addison looked at each other a few times before Addison got up.

"Hey Quinn's not going to be up for a while; I am just going to get a few things." She said to her sister.

"You want to come?" She said to the diva that nodded and got up and walked behind the older brunette, who had stopped so the diva could walk beside her rather than behind her, once the diva was at her side she placed her arm around the shorter girl's shoulders and the two walked out together.

"Since when are those two best friends?" questioned the Latina. To which no one answered the room was filled with silence as everyone sat there waiting for the blonde to wake up.

Rachel and Addison arrived at Addison's apartment building. The two brunettes's walked in silence as they got to apartment, Rachel wondered what they were doing here. They both entered the apartment as Addison walked briskly into the kitchen and started to fry up some bacon and gather some other ingredients and put them in to a bag.

"What's that for?" questioned a curious Rachel.

"Wait and see?" said the other brunette. Once Addison had everything she needed the two of them left the apartment and headed back to the hospital. Once they were back in the waiting room with the rest of the people waiting for Quinn to wake up. They could all smell the scent of bacon filling the room up. A fascinated Carly gave her sister a knowing look, which was noticed by everyone else in the room. After two hour although it felt like years had gone by a nurse came telling everyone that the blonde had woken up, they all made their way to the room except for Carly, Max and Addison, the three off them stay in the waiting room.

"So how's she really doing?" Carly asked her husband.

"Not good, it was touch and go a few times but hopefully everything should be ok. Why did she do this?" He replied.

"Don't know they said she hasn't been talking to any of them, she was close to that Rachel chick that went with you. What did she say?" she asked her little sister.

"That Quinn wasn't talking to her either and that she hadn't seen her cry or show any signs of grief. I think she's just waiting for them to kick her to the kerb like they did last year." She said as the older couple nodded in understanding.

"I guess we should get back in there. You coming babe?" asked Carly, but her husband just nodded no and pointed to the back indicating that he had other patients. The two sisters walked towards the room.

Quinn watched as the people walked into her hospital room again this scenario was getting old why couldn't they just let her let her let die in peace. She watched each face as they that entered the room, they all looked scared, worried and like they had been up all night crying. She saw her mother and sister sit at each side of her bed and reach out and take each of her hands.

The blonde looked at each person but never felt guilt that was until her eyes landed on the brunette diva, whose eyes were blood shot red from crying and her body looked crushed and her whole body language looked trampled on by fear and she looked like she was on the verge of tears again. Quinn turned her head not being able to look at diva any longer. She just lay quietly in bed as everyone around her looked at her waiting for her to talk to them or maybe a show a sign of what she was feeling like.

The door opened revealing Addison and Carly entering the room, Quinn's eyes shot up so high that she thought they were going to jump of her head. The two sisters looked at the sadly and walked up to her hugging her tightly.

"Can we speak to Quinn in private please?" Carly asked the young blonde's mother.

"Sure we will be right outside." Stated Judy with a sadness detected in her voice. The group of people left the two sisters in the room alone with the ex cheerleader.

"Where do you think you're going?" Addison asked the diva holding on to the diva wrist. Rachel indicated to the door where everyone had stopped to see the conversation between the two.

"No you're not; you are staying here with us." She stated as the others walked out of the room shutting the door behind them.

"So are you going to tell me what the hell possessed you to kill yourself and don't bother lying to me." Carly screeched but they didn't get a reply Quinn couldn't bring herself to them the real reason for trying to take her life so she turned away.

"So are we going get the silent treatment too?" asked Addison but got no reply once again. Quinn just lay on her bed with Addison and Carly sat on each side like her mother and sister did before, whilst Rachel occupied the chair beside her bed.

"I murdered her" mumbled the blonde which was heard by the other three people in the room.

"Why would you think that?" Carly asked.

"Coz it was my job to protect her and keep her safe but I couldn't, I let her down, and I let you guys down, I shouldn't be allowed to live after killing an innocent baby." She said quietly.

"Oh Quinn sweetie you are not to blame I told you it just wasn't meant to be, you have to let go of the past and grieve for Sam properly and talk you have to talk to someone and start taking care of yourself properly, that means eating all your meals." Carly said and Quinn looked down ashamed.

"Okay." She slurred.

"You will talk to Rachel and tell her how you feel and let her in to see the real you the side of you that we know." Addison said with a slight smirk whilst Quinn nodded her head faintly.

"And if you don't I have a little something that will make you change your mind." She said as she took out the cooked bacon, ice cream, and ketchup, mustard and chocolate sauce.

"Remember these. Rachel here has my number and if she for a second thinks you are falling back into a dark hole I will make you eat it the same way you made me eat it, and I know for a fact that you won't enjoy it like you did a few months ago so talk to her if not her then just call one of us." She said as she got up from her place on the bed and pulled Rachel up and sitting her on the bed.

" Come on we are going to leave you two alone to talk for a while and then everyone else will probably want to see you again." Carly got off the bed and walked up to her sister giving her a dirty look. Addison whispered something in the other woman's ear which made a smirk also grow on her face with a slight blush.

"So we should leave the two of you alone so you can talk." She said while trying to contain her laughter but it broke out before they had left the room which also made Addison laugh as well.

Rachel was pushed onto the seat by the bed by Addison and she watched as the two women had gotten the blonde to talk in the voice that she had been dying to hear so much, they had gotten her to use the voice that she was craving to hear so easily yet she had tried for weeks and never had any luck, she listened to the conversation going on by the three women on the bed with great concentration, but her heart broke as she listened to the blondes confession, how could she even think that. She felt her smile grow when Addison mentioned her name and that Rachel was the one that was going to get her better.

The two teenagers watched as the Addison whispered something in Carly's ear which made the older woman smirk and suppress her laughter. They watched as the two women left the room laughing so hard.

"I wish they pull a muscle." Quinn said her first words to the brunette who had a thousand watt smile as she nodded frantically at the blonde's statement.

"Quinn I want to talk to you about how you feel but I know it's going to take some time so how about you talk to me when you're ready and if you ever feel the way you did when you tried to..." she trailed off not wanting to even say the words.

"Okay but I don't think I will ever be able to talk to anyone about her Rachel it hurts too much." The blonde said in a voice that was barely above a whisper.

**I wanted Quinn to show signs of getting better but there will defiantly be more angst coming up even with Quinn showing signs of improvement. Question time. **

**Did I do the right thing or was it unbelievable? (I personally feel it was slightly un realistic)**

**More of Addison and Carly or just one of them? Or just cut them out completely?**

**Santana and Quinn becoming friends again?**

**More Finn bashing? **

**That's all for now next up date will be Friday if not hen Sunday night or Monday night.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Ok here chapter eleven. A little bit of Quinn with Santana and Brittney with a sprinkling of Rachel lol. Chapters a little short but I am tired and I wanted to get this out, next chapter Finn bashing and Quinn getting worse. Read and review coz it helps me write better. **

The two girls sat in the room on their own not really knowing what to say to the other. Rachel was becoming restless with the silence that was currently overflowing the room. Rachel saw the blondes hand and slowly moved her own so that her tanned hand was place upon the pale hand. She watched Quinn's face for any signs of discomfort but the blonde showed no signs.

"You must be hungry?" asked Rachel as she felt her own stomach groan, the two of them hadn't eaten since the day before Rachel told Quinn about the sleepover.

"No I am not really that but you can go get something to if you want to?" she replied as she looked down at her nails and Rachel nodded a no not wanting to leave the blonde just yet, then the sound of two stomachs groaning for the attention. Rachel's face broke out into a small giggle and Quinn's face broke in to a small smile that Rachel recognized as the same one that had adorned her face at the park.

The door opened to reveal the group of people that had been waiting outside, Judy walked up to Quinn and held her daughter as she sat on the other end of the bed, as Rachel was about to get up and let Justine take her place beside Quinn on the bed when Quinn's fingers interlocked and held on to Rachel not wanting the other girl to leave. Justine saw the interaction between the two and smiled that Quinn was letting Rachel back in and sat he foot of the bed. The nurse came in with a tray that contained a sandwich, fruit salad and a glass of juice.

"Doctor said for you to eat so that any remains of the pills will wash out and leave your body." Said the nurse as she placed the tray on the table in front of Quinn's bed and walked out of the room. Rachel could tell that Quinn wanted to eat the food so she leaned her head towards the blonde's ear and whispered.

"You eat on piece and I will have one and I will be right beside so there nothing to worry about." She felt the blonde's stiffen body relax ever so slightly. Rachel picked up both slices of the sandwiches and handed one to the blonde who took the slices of bread but just gaped at it like it was going to leap out of her hand. Rachel censed the blonde's nervousness about eating, so she squeezed the hand that was still holding the blondes for encouragement.

The other occupants in the room were gawping at the two girls, Rachel took the first bite and soon after Quinn took it with Rachel's hand still faintly squeezing hers, the two finished their half of the sandwich and Rachel picked up the plastic cup that was filled with fruit salad and the plastic spoon and then started to feed the blonde but half way through the cup of the fruit salad Quinn's expression changed from a nervous one to one that looked like she was about to hurl so she stopped and quickly handed the other girl the juice so help ease her stomach.

After three days Quinn was released from hospital and Rachel was spending every single second of the day with her and the girls would usually spend the night together at each other's homes. Quinn still wouldn't talk about her feelings or anything that involved emotions with Rachel, they would usually talk about trivial thing and whenever Rachel would try to bring the subject up the blondes face would become expressionless and her body would tense up and she would change the subject as fast as she could.

Santana and Brittney were also trying to make amends with the blonde they would spend all their spare time with the ex cheerleader and the Broadway diva. Quinn still would not speak to anyone but Rachel, Santana was trying to show the blonde where her loyalty lies, she had been trying to blackmail couch Sylvester into letting Quinn join the cheerio's and regain her title as head cheerleader, Santana and Brittney even went to the extent of pitching banners and camping out in front of the couch's house to convince her to let the blonde back on the squad as captain, in the hope of the blonde getting her old post back as head cheerleader she would start to get better and back to her old self.

Rachel had dance rehearsal and Santana and Brittney volunteered to spend the day with the blonde and ditch cheerio's summer training. The three of them were on the way to their way to the ice skating rink where they use to hang out all the time before the other two girls left the blonde out of every activity they did. As Santana parked her jeep Quinn recognized the place that had once bought her so many happy memories with who she thought were her best friends.

The trio got out of the jeep and made their way inside, Quinn noticed the place was deserted other than the staff that work there, no one else was even there. They put on the skating shoes and made their way on the ice. Quinn watched as her once two best friends danced together acting like they were professional skaters but would end up on their asses in a few minutes. Brittney decided that they should have something warm to eat so she went out to get hot chocolate and Santana made her way to the blonde that was just skating in circles to pass the time.

"Hey Q, listen I want to talk to you for the way I treated you for the last few years." She said as the two got off the ice and sat on the benches beside the ice. Quinn looked at the Latina indicating for her to continue because the Santana Lopez she knows never apologies or ever admits she is wrong.

"Listen I was a bitch to you and you were my best friend I should have had your back and not turned mine on you but I was scared that you would drag me down with you last year but the years before that I just wanted to crush you coz I hated that you had the perfect life that's why me and B never liked hanging with you and left you out if the shit we used together, I get it know though, you were just putting up a front so no one would know." She said as tears began to weld up in her eyes.

"I want to help and be there for you and for you, me, B and now obviously Berry too to be best friends again and this time for us to be able to tell each other things with being scared that the other would grass us up and try to take us down." She said as the tears started to flow down her cheeks.

"So I will start, me and B are dating like properly for like five months now and that means no more sex on the side with anyone but we don't want to come out yet because we're scared of what will happen." She said with the tears still running down her cheeks.

"Well it's about time you two admitted to your feelings for each other." Quinn said whilst wiping the Latina tears with her thumbs. Santana jumped the blonde at the sound of her voice she held on to her tightly wanting to show the blonde that she did care for her.

"S stop trying to squish Q she won't be able to drink her hot chocolate." Brittney said as she walked up to the two girls sitting down.

"It's okay B, I don't mind." Quinn said.

"OH MY GOD! Quinn you're talking to me." The ditzy said blonde that had dropped the hot chocolate on the floor and eloped the other blonde into a bear hug squeezing her so tightly that Quinn as finding it difficult to breathe.

"B I can't breathe." Quinn said and the taller blonde put the other girl down.

"Well we best go get something else to eat as B seemed to dropped the hot chocolate" the Latina said and the two blondes nodded and three made their way to a local Italian restaurant that the three use to go to after they had been ice skating.

"How come the ice rinks deserted?" Quinn asked as the waiter had set their pizzas.

"They don't be deserted S booked the whole rink for us when she found out that it was going to be just the three of us." The blonde cheerleader said as she put a meat ball in her mouth. Quinn just turned to the Latina who seemed to be blushing and looking anywhere and everywhere but at the blonde that was staring at her. Quinn decided to drop the subject knowing the Latina would never admit to doing something nice for anyone it her than Brittney or herself.

The three of them went back to the rink and spent a few more hours there and then made their way back to the Fabray home. Once the three best friends were at the door of the Fabray house the door flung open and on the other end was a very pissed Rachel.

"Where have you been? You were supposed to be back two hours ago? Quinn, are you okay? They didn't hurt you did they?" Rachel questioned as she pulled the blonde into a hug. Quinn pushed the diva off and ran upstairs and ran into the bathroom her stomach felt odd and she had a massive urge to empty the contents in her stomach.

Rachel watched as Quinn went running upstairs and slammed her door shut. She then turned to the two girls that walked in with the blonde with an expression that even scared the shit out of Santana, she slowly walks to the two girls and points Santana in the chest with her index finger and says.

"What did you do to her? She was getting better? If she does something stupid I am coming after you Santana and that's a promise." She says and then runs up to the blonde to find her in her bathroom sitting over the toilet emptying her stomach Rachel instinctively sits by the blondes side and starts rubbing circles around her back to help calm the blonde down.

Once Quinn was sure that her stomach was empty she got up and moved to the sink where Rachel handed her a tooth brush and put some water in a glass. During this time Santana and Brittney had made their way up to the blonde's room.

"What happened?" she asks the blonde.

"Nothing Rachel I think that pizza I ate was off." Quinn clarifies and Santana and Brittney both take a breath of relief. The four sat on the bed when the once three best friends tell the brunette about their day together and Rachel couldn't help but smile as Quinn lay her head on the brunettes thighs and yarned looking like she was about to collapse from the day she had. Rachel subconsciously started to run her fingers through the blonde's hair and rake her nails gently over the laying girls scalp whilst Brittney told Rachel about how Quinn had began talking to them and that they were going to be friends again. Rachel was still running her hands through the laying girl's hair when she noticed the blonde had fallen asleep to her touch. Santana and Brittney had left half an hour ago in that time Rachel was just watching the sleeping girl in her lap. As she stopped the movements with her fingers Quinn snuggled in to Rachel's stomach and wrapped her arms around her lower back. And Rachel began to feel the heat form in her body as Quinn would move her shoulder because it would connect with her centre and what made it worse was that Quinn's top had begun to ride up revealing her hip and part of her panties which certainly wasn't making things any better for the diva.

**So don't forget to review and let me know what you think, like I said Finn bashing defiantly next chapter, I have most of it planned out in my head so it shouldn't take too long to get it up here. Don't forget to tell me what you would like to see and what you think of the fic so far and a huge thanks to everyone who reviews and favs, alerts and basically reads the fic it means so much to me. **


	12. Chapter 12

**Here's chapter twelve. Sorry that it's really late but I wasn't feeling really well and didn't have enough energy to write but hopefully updates should get back to normal. If you are a Finn fan I suggest you don't read and also self harming in this chapter so you might want to be aware of that to. Read and review coz they make me want to write faster and I love hearing what you guys have to say good or bad. Enjoy **

There was only two weeks left till school started again, and Quinn was making huge improvements with Rachel, Santana and Brittney but her relationship with her mother and sister was still the same, where Quinn would just ignore them and never answer any of the questions they asked her.

The four of them had planned to go the carnival, Quinn wore a pair of jeans and a mint green t shirt with a white jacket, she was waiting in her room for Rachel and the others to pick her up so the four of them could all go together. She was kind of nervous because for the past few weeks every time she was in the presence of Rachel she felt something inside of melt and would crave Rachel's touches whenever they would be together.

There was a knock on her door but Quinn was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn't even hear nor notice that someone had entered into her room. A light touch on her shoulder had bought her back to reality and to look up and see the face she had been lost in thought about, Rachel just gave her a true Rachel berry smile and held her hand out for the sitting blonde to take and pulled her up once Quinn had been pulled up Rachel linked their fingers and guided the taller down stairs where Santana and Brittney and Santana were waiting for them in the living room with Judy and Justine.

"You ready to go?" Inquired the Latina as she and Brittney got up from the couch and made their way to the two girls that had just came down the stairs, Rachel gave a small smile and nodded and the four girls left the Fabray house. The four of them got into Santana's jeep; the ride to the carnival was just like the other rides the four of them took together, Rachel and Quinn in the back holding hands whilst listening to Brittney talked about her pet duck in the passenger seat in the front whilst Santana was smiling at the blonde in the front constantly.

They had arrived at the carnival and they went onto rides and played a few games, the four of them were getting hungry so they were making their way to a food stand when they bumped into the one person they were avoiding.

"Well! Well, look who's here?" said the boy with his voice filled with disgust.

"What do you want Finnocence?" the Latina asked.

"Oh nothing much, looks like the world's biggest lying slut is doing better." He said as he walked away only to come back with a doll in his hands and throws the doll to the ex blonde cheer leader.

"Don't kill the doll Fabray, coz everything you touch goes to hell or breaks or it dies." He said with a slight laugh as he saw the shorter blonde's expression of horror. He then walked to the blonde girl and ripped the head of the doll.

"Oh looky here you only had it for a few minutes and you already broke it. It looks like anything you touch breaks it's a wonder your bastard lived for so long you should congratulate yourself coz I thought you would have killed it sooner." He said with venom in his voice as Santana lunged forward to attack the boy she punched him in the eye and kneed him in the crotch and began and kicked him in the face and was about to attack him again when Brittney grabbed hold of the brunette cheerleaders arm to get her attention.

"S, we have to go." She said as she motioned towards the exit of the carnival where Rachel was running behind the blonde.

Rachel caught up to the blonde and grabbed the by the wrist to stop her from running further away, she gripped the girls wrist tighter as she felt Quinn struggling and trying to get out of her grip. Soon Santana and Brittney joined them. Brittney and Rachel were on each side of the blonde with their arms around the hurting blonde, whilst Santana stood in front leading the way. They got into the car Santana in the front whilst Brittney and Rachel sat in the back on either side of Quinn. The ride to the Fabray house was beyond awkward; the tension in the car could have been cut with a blunt knife.

Once the car had come to a stop at the short blonde girl's house, Quinn ran straight into the house and up to her bed room slamming the door shut to let everyone that she didn't want to be disturbed. The other three girls walked into the house at the sound of Quinn's door being slammed shut.

The three of them went up stairs to make sure the blonde didn't do anything stupid. They found the blonde sitting on the floor at the foot of her bed with her head buried in her knees and her arms wrapped around her legs, she wasn't making any noise which meant that she wasn't crying. Rachel walked up to the blonde and sat down beside her and put her arms around the blonde to let her know of her presence. They all sat there for the remainder of the day in the exact same positions they had all been when they all go0t to the house.

Santana and Brittney went home whilst Rachel was scared that the ex cheerleader would try and do something that could take her life and was not going to leave her side. The two of them got into bed Quinn turned to face the wall so she didn't need to look at Rachel or anyone else for that matter. She needed time alone to deal with the guilt and loss of her child she lay in bed thinking of a way to help ease the guilt as suicide was out of the option as she was never left alone for herself to take her own life and her mother had flushed all the pills in the house down the toilet in the fear that Quinn may try and steal them again.

She soon realised that Rachel had fallen asleep but had her arm around Quinn passively, Quinn gently removed Rachel's arm from around her waist and slowly got of the bed and tip toed to the bathroom not wanting to wake the sleeping diva.

As she shut the door to bathroom door she leaned against the sink basin looking at her reflection in the mirror she saw a person that should not be forgiven, a person that should be punished for taking the life of her own daughter but wasn't allowed she opened the cabinet looking for something to help with the pain and guilt, as her eyes scanned though the two shelf's her eyes feel upon her razor, she lifted her hand and grazed her two fingers over the blade and watched as sharp blade made small cuts on her fingers and the blood poured out of the fresh cuts. She then lifted the blade and took of her shorts and began making deeper cuts the pain she was receiving from the cuts seemed to compress the pain of losing her baby and it also helped with the guilt she was feeling as she was punishing herself without anybody knowing what she was doing to her body. As she was cleaning her blood from the floor and sink when she heard a knock on the bathroom door which soon followed with a question from the person waiting outside the door.

"Quinn, are you in there?" The voice was sounding scared and worried, Rachel had woken up to an empty bed to find the blond out of bed the last time Quinn was upset and out of the bed the blonde had tried to take her life, she walked up to the bathroom praying that the girl was okay and hadn't harmed herself. She was about to burst through the doors but decided to knock first just in case Quinn was only using the toilet.

"Yeah I am in here I will be out in a minute Rachel." She answered annoyed that she couldn't be left alone for a few minutes without someone coming in and checking in on her. She then heard a sigh of relief coming from outside the door from the diva and heard Rachel's feet shuffle back towards the bed. She made quick work of cleaning the blood and hiding the blade and towel covered in blood in the back of her bathroom closet. She walked out of the bathroom feeling the stinging pain of her cuts on her upper thighs as she was walking towards the bed and lay down beside the brunette still facing the other way feeling a little lighter without the pain and guilt that consumed her body a few hours ago.

The morning came and soon the guilt also returned, forcing down the breakfast that was made for her, she walked to the bathroom and hurled it out, and then made it to her new pain reliever. She made deep cuts down her thighs and on her lower stomach, she had cleaned up the mess that was made with the cuts but didn't even bother to clean the wounds she had made on her body she quickly put on a long dress and a jacket to cover up her wounds. Rachel was waiting down stairs for the blonde she noticed that Quinn seemed to be acting a little different than usual, something wasn't right and Rachel was going to figure it out.

"Where do you want to go today?" she questioned the blonde.

"nowhere." She replied in a voice that was below a whisper and could barely even be heard. The diva nodded and took the blondes hands and led her back up stairs where the two would and could be able to talk. She shut the door so that they could have their privacy. Quinn sat at the foot of the bed with her legs dangling down whilst Rachel took the seat on the other girl's desk chair and turned so she could face the blonde and talk face to face.

"Quinn do you want to talk about what happened yesterday?" she asked whist trying to choose her words very carefully not wanting to upset the blonde any further. Her reply was a nod indicating no. The two sat in the blonde's room in silence for a while before the door was swung open by an over exited Brittney and a neutral looking Santana. The two girls' also took a seat on the floor beside Quinn, Brittney picked up Quinn's feet from the floor and placed it on her leg as she started to draw patterns on the shorter blonde's foot.

"Would you girl's please come down there someone here to see you here." Judy called from the bottom of the stairs.

"Me and be will go and check out who's here." Santana said as she broke the silence in the room, her and Brittney walked down the stairs to find a Finn Hudson stood there sporting a broken nose and a black eye and also a cut lip with his mother by his side that was looking rather apologetic.

"OH HELL NO! YOU BETTER GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE BEFORE I REALLY FUCK UP THAT UGLY MUG OF A FACE." She yelled at the boy as she began walking forward as the boy took a few steps back.

"Santana that is no way to speak to our guests." Judy said in a disappointing tone but the smile never leaving her face as she remembered the boy as the father to Quinn's baby.

"GUEST HE AINT NO GUEST HERE AND I WOULDNT BE SMILING AT HIM LIKE THAT IF YOU KNEW WHAT HER HAD SAID AND DID TO Q YESTERDAY AT THE CARNIVAL." She yelled again.

"What do you mean?" asked the older blonde.

"HE THROW A DOLL AT Q AND THEN PULLED IT'S HEAD OF SAYING THAT SHE KILLED THE DOLL JUST LIKE SHE KILLED HER BABY AND THAT Q'S KID WAS LUCKY TO HAVE LIVED THAT LONG UNDER HER CARE." She screamed, Judy's smile fell of her face and was replaced by a look of disgust.

Rachel and Quinn could hear muffled screams coming from down stairs, Rachel told Quinn that she will go and see what was happening and left the blonde on her own, after a few seconds the screams began falling from Rachel's mouth as well and Quinn left her room and walked down her stairs.

"YEAH WELL IF THAT BITCH DIDNT LIE TO ME AND EVERYONE ELSE THAN MAYBE I WOULDNT HAVE DONE IT BUT IT WAS THE TRUTH SHE CAN'T EVEN LOOK AFTER HERSELF LET ALONE A KID. He said as he spoke for the first time defending himself and pointing to the blonde that had just reached the room where the screams were coming from.

"FINN WE CAME HERE TO APPOLIGISE FOR YOUR BEHAVIOUR YESTERDAY NOT TO MAKE IT WORSE NOW SAY THAT YOUR SORRY AND ASK QUINN TO FORGIVE YOU." Carol said as she saw the pale blonde becoming even paler than usual.

"FUCK I AM NOT GOING TO SAY I AM SORRY FOR SOMETHING THAT IS TRUE SHE CAN GO TO HELL JUST LIKE HER KID HAS, THEN HOPEFULLY THE WORLD WOULD BE RID OF HER DISCUSTING SELF." He spat back at his mother.

"You should leave now before I do or say something that may hurt you." Judy spoke up defending her daughter.

"YEAH YOU SON OF A BITCH GET THE FUCK OUT BEFORE I MESS UP YOUR ALREADY FUCKED UP FACE AND MAKE YOU EXTINCT TOU ASSHOLE GET OUT AND IF I EVER CATCH YOU NEAR Q AGAIN CONSIDER IT YOUR LAST FEW MOMENTS ON THIS PLANET COZ I WILL KILL YOU." Screamed the Latina as she opened the front door for the two to leave the house.

Quinn had ran up after carol had spoken she went straight to her bathroom and took out her razor and began cutting her upper arms half way through her cutting she was interrupted by two people as they had followed the blonde up when they noticed she had gone missing.

"Oh my god!" the two voices said simultaneously together at what they were witnessing.

**A little cliff hanger who has seen Quinn hurting herself let me know who you think it is. And tell me what you want to see happen so that I can maybe include it in the next chapter. Hope you all liked the Finn bashing. Don't forget to review. And thank you for constantly coming back and reading the fic even though I haven't updated it, it means a lot to me. **


	13. Chapter 13

**Here is Chapter thirteen. A lot of you were not happy about Quinn hurting herself but I needed to do it as you will see why in this chapter. There is a little surprise for you all at the end because you guys are awesome with all the feedback I am getting for this fic. Don't forget to review coz I love hearing from you guys. oh and this chapter also has self harming in it.**

**Okay a few of asked me about myself so here it is, its not much. I am 21 years old, female obviously, I am from the UK currently going to university part time studying accounting and working part time at a accounting office, I was never really good at writing hence why my stories have a lot of mistakes so sorry about that. That about it really nothing else to tell boring right. **

The blonde girl looked up at the two figures that had just intruded on her, the two young women that had caught the blonde sitting on the floor in her bathroom in her bra and panties holding on to a razor whilst making cuts on her body. The short younger female walked up to the blonde taking the blade of her and throwing it into the trash and then sat down beside her whilst she started to check how deep the cuts were.

"Do you have a first aid kit?" she questioned the ex Cheerleader's sister.

Once Quinn had seen who had caught her harming herself she fell in to a state of shock over coming her body and her eyes instantly dropped to the floor and after a few moments she felt a familiar presence sitting beside her holding her hand whilst the other hand gently touched her fresh injuries. She felt pain and wanted to resist Rachel's attempts of cleaning her wounds but her body wasn't working with her mind and wouldn't let her move even when Rachel was cleaning her cuts with antiseptic and she felt the disinfectant sting the scores she had made on her body.

"Yeah it's in my mom's bathroom, I'll go get it give me a minute." She replied as she ran off to get said item. She returned and handed the kit to the tiny brunette diva that got to work cleaning and bandaging up the blondes new and old cuts, whilst Justine went into the blonde's closet to retrieve some fresh loose fitting clothing for her sister. She handed them to the brunette once she was done cleaning up the younger blonde and helped her put on her sweat pants and a loose full sleeve top. She then led the blonde to the bedroom and helped the young blonde sit on the bed whilst her sister shut the door to the bedroom.

The room fell so silent that they three of them could hear each other's breathing. They were waiting in deadly silence each one of them waiting for the other to break. Quinn had her eyes screwed to the floor whilst she was playing with her fingers. The bedroom door swung open to reveal Brittney, Santana and Judy standing on the other side looking worried.

"Mom can you guys leave us for a bit, we kind of need to talk to quinn alone." Justine spoke for the first time her voice rough and slightly frightened. The three new additions to the room nodded and walked out of the room looking a little afraid.

"Please don't tell anyone?" Quinn said so quietly that her plea was barely even heard by the other two.

"Okay I won't tell anyone under one condition that you answer some questions and you never do this again or anything else that will harm you." Rachel said as she reached for Quinn's hand and interlocked her fingers with the blondes. She knew who Quinn was afraid of finding out.

"I won't mention it either but I also have some conditions as well, firstly me or Rachel will be checking your body for any fresh cuts at least two times a day and you have to talk to me or her or any one about how your feeling and stop bottling it up inside coz it will destroy you, I want you to be able to trust us tell us how your felling so that we can help you through this pain. Whenever you go to the bathroom the door stays unlocked so we can make sure that your okay and if you spent more than the necessary time in there we will come in. I want you to cry laugh and smile and just be you." Justine said to the blonde who was still burning a hole in the floor.

The room was once again filled with that deadly silence again, both waiting for Quinn's answer. The younger blonde girl slowly lifted her head at an increasingly slow pace and looked at the other two people that were presently occupying her room.

The day went by with two pairs glued to the younger blondes every move which was not very much appreciated by the ex cheerio. That night as she was about to go to the bathroom to change and brush her teeth Rachel ran in before her and took out all the things she could hurt herself with, she felt furious that she couldn't go to the toilet without someone checking up on her. She could hear both Rachel and Justine listening to her every move outside the bathroom door she could hear them speaking softly as she washed her hands.

She switched off the tap and stared at her reflection in the mirror she didn't recognize the person that was staring back at her, an unusually thin, pale face with her eyes showing that her body wasn't getting enough sleep it needed. As she stared at herself in the mirror the door opened with revealing the two girls coming to check on her as the room had been quiet for a while when they saw her standing at the mirror Rachel walked up to her and put her arm around her waist and led her out of the bathroom and helped her into bed and also got into the bed also.

The two of them lay in bed not being able to sleep, for Quinn the guilt and pain becoming too much for her to bare and Rachel was worried about how Quinn would react when they got back to school as it was only a few days away. Sleep soon took over Rachel's worries as for Quinn she just lay on her back staring at the dark ceiling wondering when all the pain of her life would end, she then felt Rachel's arm hold onto her and squeeze her body in to the blonde's, she felt like there were butterflies in her stomach but didn't understand why she had these feelings for the sleeping beside her.

The morning came and Quinn had barely had slept an hour and her body was feeling even heavier than it normally did. they spent the next few days in the fabray house rachel not wanting to risk Quinn running in to finn or anybody else that will send her into a deeper depression than she was already in.

The two were planning to go shopping for school supplies as school was about to start in two days. Quinn was feeling even worse than usual. The two made their way to the mall. The day seemed to be going well Quinn was showing small signs of improvements like her eating habits were showing small signs of development. She bought a few dresses and sweaters and even convinced Rachel to change her wardrobe and buy something that didn't consist of argyle, plaid or animals on them.

The two of them were heading home when one of the roads that was on the route to the Fabray house was closed due to an major car accident, they took the other route, the car stopped because of traffic right in front of the church graveyard which had the perfect view for Quinn's daughters grave, she looked out of the window and saw her daughters final resting place, the place where her baby girl was to spend eternity for, her breathing becoming sharp and her eyes attached to the tomb stone to where her baby girl lay.

Her mind was going into over drive with the guilt she was feeling, she as trying to move on, get over the fact she had killed her baby, she was trying to move on and forget about her even though she had promised herself she would never forget or forgive herself.

Rachel noticed the other girl's attitude change and how she was also hyper ventilating and Rachel could tell that Quinn was close to a break down. She needed to get away from the grave yard as soon as possible she began speeding and shifting lanes to get away and get Quinn home as quickly as possible.

After breaking a couple of dozen traffic laws the two arrived at the blonde girl's home, once Rachel was in the drive way Quinn jumped out the still moving vehicle and ran inside, Rachel hastily parked her car and ran into the house not bothering with the shopping bags. She ran up stairs to the bathroom where she knew Quinn would be.

As soon as Quinn got into her bath room she went into the cabinet and grabbed the razor she had first used and lifted up her dress to make the first cut of the day, she pressed hard on the blade to get as deep as possible she needed her to punish herself. After her second cut the door flung open and there was an out of breathe Rachel staring at her, she then stormed out of the room only to return with a blade herself.

"Right if insist on hurting yourself, I will too, you have two fresh cuts on thigh." She said as she sat down and lifted her skirt to make the first cut. She bought the blade down and made a small cut on her leg and hissed at the pain and then began on the next one when the razor was smacked out of her hand.

"Don't, just don't ok." the blonde said that was so close to breaking down.

"Why not Quinn? You seem to enjoy harming you body so why can't I? Why should stop I when you won't?" she questioned the blonde.

"Bbbbbe... because you don't deserve it, I do." She said as she began to cry and her head fell to the brunettes shoulder. Rachel just held on to the blonde rubbing small circles on the crying girls lower back and whispering reassuring words into her ear, she was a little relieved that the blonde was finally reliving her grief and crying.

After about an hour the blonde's sobs had calmed into soft whimpers so Rachel got up and began to clean the blonde's dried up blood and her new slashes she gasped at how deep the blonde had cut herself. After she had finished Quinn grabbed the first aid kit and pat the brunette on the bath tub, she then lifted the divas short skirt and got a clean cotton bud lightly putting some antiseptic in it she then tenderly began to clean it with one hand whilst her other one rested on the singers other thigh.

as Quinn held Rachel by the shoulders leading her towards the bath tub placing her down Rachel felt a warm tingle erupting through her body, she felt her blood rushing through her body as Quinn lifted her skirt, she then closed her eyes at the sensation of Quinn's fingers on her legs, her mind began to wonder as the blonde girl's fingers brushed her skin envisioning Quinn's hands on her legs for a whole different reason. She was so immersed in her fantasy that she didn't even realise that Quinn was done.

She was snapped out of her fantasy when she no longer felt Quinn's fingers on her heated skin; Quinn leaned across Rachel's chest to discard of the used cotton and other items she had used to clean Rachel with.

As Quinn was moving back she locked eyes with Rachel and she felt the butterflies back in her stomach and her palms were becoming sweaty, her eyes then left the other girl's only to find her lips to which Rachel had moistened with her tongue. The blonde moved forward at a snail's pace whilst Rachel also began to move forward at the same pace but her eyes never left the blonde's face to make sure that there was no doubt.

Finally their lips met and each of them felt like their bodies were on fire and as both of them closed their eyes they both saw fireworks, Quinn felt like all her worries and problems and pain had all disappeared, Quinn wanted more so she began rubbing her tongue across Rachel's lips to gain entrance into her mouth to which Rachel was more than happy to give. They both moaned into each other's mouths as their tongues met for the first time both tongues exploring each other's mouths as Rachel bought her hands up to Quinn's neck and began massaging it with one hand whilst her other hand began running through the golden locks. Quinn placed her hands on Rachel's waist massaging them lightly.

They finally pulled apart reluctantly because their lungs were burning from the lack of oxygen. Quinn still had her eyes shut with her forehead placed on Rachel's, Rachel opened her eyes to study the blonde to make sure she was okay.

**so did you guys like your little surprise? So what will happen next Quinn going crazy or what? A little bit of Faberry for you guys. Let me know what you guys want to see and I will try and incorporate it into the story, next chapter will have Quinn revealing all of her guilt and pain. Don't forget to review. Oh and nightcuddler if you want Quinn to fall off a bridge I will try and include it for you (just kidding). **


	14. Chapter 14

**Here is Chapter fourteen the longest chapter so far. I am real glad that you all liked the last chapter it made me smile knowing you guys were happy with the progress and the way Rachel handled Quinn's situation. I am really not too sure about this chapter I think it doesn't really make much sense but maybe you guys may think differently so please let me know what you think coz if you don't like it then I will try and change it. Don't own anything. Read and review. Enjoy.**

The two girls were still in recovering from the mind blowing kiss they had just shared a few seconds ago, both of them now had their eyes closed but they never let the contact they had with their hands break. There was a sudden knock at the door which startled both girls and they parted as the door opened and there on the other side stood Justine.

"Is everything alright? I mean you guys came up in a hurry and have been in her for a while." She asked the two girls who were blushing slightly.

"Yeah" Rachel squeaked out.

"Yep yeah everything's fine we were just talking." She said again as she cleared her throat. She nodded at the two girls who were acting more than a little peculiar, she then left them alone then both girls walked into Quinn's bedroom both girls sat in the bed shyly glancing at each other. The day went by as the same way the others did but the occasional glances or innocent touches and the goodbye kiss Rachel gave to the blonde on her forehead.

Rachel went straight to her bedroom as soon as she got home with the biggest goofiest grin plastered on her face. She dropped down on her bed brushing her fingers across her lips where just a few hours ago Quinn had given her the most memorable kiss she had ever had. She closed her eyes recalled the memory in her mind; she replayed it constantly in her mind she fell into a deep slumber.

As Rachel kissed her goodbye Quinn felt like her mind wondering back to the kiss in the bathroom all she could think was how right it felt and how all she wanted was to kiss her again to see if the feelings were still there and that her sleep deprived mind wasn't playing tricks on her. She got into bed wondering how she felt wanted by someone else.

The next two days went by with the two girl's constantly staring at each other and always looking for excuses to hold the other and the occasional pecks on the cheek or forehead by Rachel or the quick kisses Quinn would give Rachel on her lips. The night before school the two of them sat on Quinn's bed holding hands whilst they discussed how the school ay would go. Quinn insisted that she would drive herself to school and meet the diva there.

That night Rachel lay in bed wondering how Quinn's reaction would be like to be back in school how she would cope with all the stress of school including the gossip and the stares the blonde would surely get surely get as she would enter the halls of McKinley for the first time since the accident that had caused her to lose her daughter.

Quinn closed her eyes and her nightmares returned just like they always did no matter how her day went, she hated closing her eyes as the images would flood her mind. She lay awake on her back staring at the ceiling like she did every night; the only thing different thing tonight was that her mind wasn't filled with the thoughts of her killing her daughter but going back to place she had last felt her baby alive.

The morning came to quickly for Quinn's liking she got dressed barely even looking at her food as she got into her car and drove to school at the pace of a tortoise, she would have gotten to school faster if had been walking . Turning in to the car park she parked her red sports car, turning of the engine and just staring at the steering wheel. The knock on her window took her out of her out of her current state of shock. She looked up to find Rachel standing on the other side of her car door with a huge smile across her face.

The two of them walked into the school building, there were eyes that would drift towards them and pointing and there was also the constant whisperings that didn't go unnoticed by either if the girls. As they reached the blondes locker they joined by Brittney and Santana. As they were all about to walk to their first class to which they all shared together. Quinn froze in place as she saw figures walking her way with three different coloured slushes jumbo sized.

As they approached the group of girls something inside of Quinn snapped and she stalked up to them smacking the sticky corn syrup out of their hands as she grabbed the first boys shirt roughly just as she was about to speak she heard her name being called.

"Q what the hell do you think you are doing?" asked sue Sylvester. Quinn turned to the woman who was standing with Mr. Shuester and principle Figgins she gave them a look that scared the devil incarnate her, one Ms Sylvester. The three teachers shrunk as they looked down which Quinn took as an indication to continue with what she was doing.

"You killed my daughter Karofsky, you throw that slushy at me which made me fall." She spat at the boy as she gripped on to the shirt tighter. She was about to speak when Quinn cut him off.

"Don't even bother to defend yourself, coz of you my baby died. If I ever see another slushy in or within ten feet of the school I am coming after you, and after I am done with you you're going to wish you had a time machine so you can go back in time and make sure that your parents never conceived you. Do you understand me." She said in a voice that would put the fear of god into the devil himself. The only thing Karofsky could do was nod his head up and down so fast that the crowd that had gathered around to watch the blonde thought, that he is head would fly off.

"And you." She said as she faced the second boy and also grabbed his shirt.

"You ever say anything about my baby again and I will make sure it's the last thing you ever say coz I will rip out your tongue and shove it so far up your ass that every time you shit it will come out in two parts." She said to the boy that lost all of his cockiness at the blonde girl's posture which indicated that she was more than serious.

"okay." Answered the tall boy with fear laced in his voice.

"Oh and if anyone mentions my baby girl I will come after you even if it wasn't your fault. You understand that you giant freak." She said to Finn. Once she let go of the boy, the three of them ran away so fast it was like a swarm of bees were chasing after them. Quinn turned to her right when she saw the staircase to which she had fallen on and felt her baby for the last time.

Everyone saw Quinn's demeanour change when she saw the steps, she had frozen in place when Rachel walked up to her and lightly touched her shoulder Quinn was awaken from her trance and saw that there was a group full of people that had their eyes on her every move. She couldn't handle the attention so she did the only thing she knew she could, she ran past the crowd and ran straight to her car and drove out of the school she needed to get away from everyone's prying eyes.

Rachel, Brittney and Santana ran after the girl but a\s they got to the car park they saw Quinn's car speeding out of the parking lot. They got into Santana's jeep as it was the closest to them and followed Quinn's car out of the parking lot. They decided to check the warehouse first because it was the most likely place she would go, but as they got there was no sign of Quinn so they checked the graveyard and all the other places where they thought that she would be but came to dead ends every where they checked. There was only one place left for the trio to check for Quinn. They drove down the street to the last place where Quinn could be and they spotted her car in the driveway.

They ran up to the door knocking and yelling for the girl to open it but the door never opened so Santana rang up one of the people that could get them in. Rachel was going frantic with worry as she could hear or see no movement in the house; she assumed that the blonde had only done the worst to herself.

Two cars speeded up to the drive way and skidded as they parked up and the two women ran up to the door and opened it and ran in with the three teenagers behind them they all ran to the blondes girl's bedroom. When they opened the door to the bedroom and there they all saw the blonde in laying on floor with empty bottles of wine around her, the five newly arrived intruders shocked at the sight of Quinn laying on the floor in her panties with a razor in one hand whilst the other was occupied with a bottle a rum, whilst her body was marked all over with deep cuts and dried blood on both her body and the floor around her.

"Mom you three get rid of the alcohol and me and Rachel will clean her up." Justine spoke up. Her and Rachel helped Quinn up and dragged her to the bathroom to clean her up, whilst Santana, Judy and Brittney took all the bottles of alcohol out of Quinn's room and went down stairs and poured it all down the sink, they all gathered the rest of the bottles of alcohol that were in the house and also disposed of them to.

Rachel was cleaning Quinn's wounds, which was very easy considering the blonde was extremely drunk and kept moving around and was overly touchy with the brunette. She would constantly kissing her or groping her breasts. After awhile Rachel got sick of telling Quinn to stay still so when the blonde went in for another kiss Rachel moved away.

"If you want to kiss me then you have to let me clean you up." She said which earned her a pout from the other girl but the blonde stayed still and Rachel made quick work of cleaning Quinn not wanting the blonde getting bored waiting for her kiss and go back to fidgeting. Justine had taken some fresh clothing for the blonde and began cleaning the bedroom floor getting rid of the blood and alcohol stains.

Once Rachel had gotten Quinn cleaned up and changed into the fresh pair of clothing she got rid of the bloody cotton and the other items that were used to clean the blonde's cuts. She was about to leave the room when Quinn grabbed her by the wrist and twirled her around.

"Where's my kiss?" she said in the brunette's ear in a whisper which sent a shiver down her divas spine.

"Come and get it." She said as she leaned forward slightly and waited for the other girl to also move forward, Quinn moved forward and captured Rachel's lips with her own, this kiss was nothing like their first it was filled with the same amount of passion but more was more aggressive and enthusiasm. It was Rachel that bought her tongue to Quinn's lips asking for entrance that was instantly granted by the blonde their tongues duelled against each other for dominance, when Rachel heard Judy's voice coming from outside the bathroom door she pulled away from the blonde that was pouting again.

"We will kiss again later okay." She said as she quickly pecked the pout of her lips and interlocked their fingers and walked out of the bath room. The two entered the room and Quinn looked at the four people in her bedroom.

"Why were you drinking?" asked her mother.

"Coz I was feelin sad and needed a pick me up." She answered as she sat on the floor near the foot of her bed.

"Quinn drinking is no way to handle your emotions, and when your sober you will be punished." She stated.

"Whatever you say mother." she said as she solider saluted her mom.

"I am more than serious Quinn you can't keep on doing this to yourself you have to learn that there are consciences to your actions." She said.

"YES MAAM." She said as she got off the floor and grabbed a slipper and handed it to Judy and bent over her lap for a spanking.

"What are you doing?" she asked her daughter.

"Getting ready for my punishment since daddy isn't here you will have to spank me." She said nonchalantly.

"No one is going to hurt you here Quinn." She said slightly alarmed at the three teenagers looking at looking at her with cold expressions plastered on their faces. The room was filled with silence as Judy got Quinn of her lap and sat her back on the floor.

"HEY WHERE'S MY DRINKS GONE?" she asked swatting her hands around looking for the bottles of alcohol. No one answered her question.

"Hey mom shall I give you some good news?" she asked her mother.

"Okay sweetie." She answered back.

"That bastard child as you called it died just like you and daddy wished it did and it was all my fault and now I will defiantly go to hell just like you and daddy always said I would." She answered her mother's question.

"Quinnie it wasn't you fault." Her mother said trying to console her daughter.

"Yeah yeah yeah that's what everyone says but I know that's not true." She said waving her mothers further pleas of her innocence. Again silence in the room. After a few moments Quinn got off the floor and gripped Rachel hand and pushed her to the bed. The two of them sat there Rachel watched as Quinn inspected her hand like she was a palm reader.

"I am tired." She stated as she stifled a yawn like a kid trying to convince their parents that they weren't too tired to go to sleep before their favourite show was on or the fireworks on the fourth of July.

"Go to sleep then." Rachel said back smiling at the girl's innocence.

"Can't silly the nightmares will come back." she said as she kissed Rachel's now blushing cheek.

"What nightmares?" Judy asked.

"I wasn't talking to you." The blonde said as she flipped her mother the bird and went back to looking at Rachel who was trying hardest to hold in her smile as were the rest of the occupants in the room at the younger blonde's actions.

"What nightmares Quinn?" Rachel was the one to ask this time. Quinn put her lips to Rachel's ear and loudly whispered.

"THE ones where my baby is big but not that big you know like five or six years old and she is playing in a park and I see her and walk up to her and then she turns around and sees me too and asks me why I killed her did I not love her enough to protect her." She says as tears start running down her cheeks.

"Quinn it wasn't your fault you said so yourself today in school, it was Karofsky's fault." Rachel said as her own eyes filled with tears.

"I just said that coz he was holding the slushy and I was scared that he was going to throw it at you." She said as she put her head on Rachel's chest and closed her eyes.

"Quinn I don't think that they were going to throw it at me?" she replied to the girl as she began running her fingers through her hair.

"Hey, mom guess what?" she said to her mother.

"What darling?" she asked her daughter.

"You're going to kick me out again when you find out my secret." She whispered loudly as she got up and walked up to her closet and disappeared for a few minutes before reappearing again with a big bag that was filled with her clothes and other belongings. She went up to her head of her bed and got something from under her pillow and placed it on top of everything in her bag. She was then walking out of the room.

"Peace out suckers." She said as she gave them the peace sign with her fingers.

"Where are you going?"Judy asked.

"Moving out before you kick me out." She stated from her bedroom door.

"What would make you think I would kick you out?" she questioned her daughter. Who then walked up to Rachel and bought her lips to Rachel in a heated kiss, as the two parted Rachel's face was a deep shade of red from embarrassment.

"I am gay mother." She spat at her mother and picked her bag and began to walk out of the room when her mother gripped her wrist and pulled her back towards the bed and sat her down and kneeled down beside her.

"Quinnie I don't care if decided to have a sex change I would never leave you or let you go and never ever think that I would kick you out. No matter what Quinn I will support you in any and every decision you make." She said to her daughter with tears flowing down her cheeks.

"But what will happen when daddy comes back and kicks me out because we both know you won't be able to stand up to him ." she asked with tears forming in her own eyes.

"I am never going to let him near you again. He is never going to come back into our lives again no matter what the circumstances." She said holding on to her daughter's hand looking into her eyes to show her how sincere she was. Quinn believed her mother and went back to the head of the bed and lay down on top of Rachel who began blushing again because of the intimacy. After a few moments Quinn fell asleep.

"You girls can go home if you like." Judy said to the three teens.

"No its okay Mrs Fabray we would like to stay with Quinn to make sure she's okay." Rachel replied and the two cheerleaders nodded at the statement. Judy just smiled at the three girls'. Quinn woke up after ten minutes later.

"Don't let them get me." She said still not sobered up from the huge amount of alcohol she had consumed earlier.

"Who?" Rachel asked.

"The gremlins they are after me Rachel." She said looking around the room frantically.

"Why are they after you?" She asked the girl.

"Because they said they come after me because I killed my baby and they take away bad people." She said as she eyed her mother sister weirdly.

"They are not here Quinn." She said to the girl.

"I think they are the gremlins." She said as she pointed to her mother and sister, which learned a stifled laugh from Santana and Brittney.

"They are not, trust me." She said as she held on to the blonde's hand.

"I do trust you. You will protect me right Rach." She said as she snuggled into the divas body.

"Of course Quinn, always." She said putting her arms around the girl.

"My hero." She said dreamily and closed her eyes and falling back to sleep.

**Okay so did you guys like it or was it off please let me know coz I really don't like it. Thank you to everyone that reviewed in the last chapter coz they make all happy and write faster for you guys coz I know that your liking the story so don't forget to review. **


	15. Chapter 15

**Okay so this chapter is really a filler because I felt really bad about the last chapter thanks to one reviewer not mentioning any names (nightcuddler) about Quinn's self harm but not to worry I don't intend for it to continue the next last chapters are going to be quite fluffy and make a huge improvement in the Faberry relationship. There will still be steps back but nothing to drastic that's all I am saying so enjoy. And review and let me know what you think. **

The morning came and Quinn woke up a thumping headache and her whole body was sore from her actions from last night. She had her eyes closed and pulled the sheets up higher over her head to block out the sun. She lay in bed not wanting to get out and deal with her mother's wrath or the punishment that was defiantly going to come.

Rachel had woken at six am just like every day she walked downstairs and found Judy and Justine in the dining room immersed in deep discussion. She walked up to the two older Fabray women with a fake smile plastered on her face. She sat down at the table next to Justine.

"Mrs Fabray may I talk to you about something?" she mumbled to the woman who just nodded her head and turned towards the petite diva.

"I wanted to talk to you about Quinn and..." She was cut short of her rant as Judy began to chuckle.

"You can say your piece once I am done." Stated Judy and Rachel nodded.

"Ok I don't know what yours and Quinn's relationship is but all I care about is my baby girl's happiness and you seem to make her happy and she trusts you, and as long as you keep her happy I am happy, just give me some time to adjust to your relationship before you girls decide to go public about this and just keep the your kissing and what not in your bedrooms but the door will remain open and me or Justine will be checking in on the two of you occasionally." She said with confidence.

"I understand completely, although I don't really know if there will be anything going on between us because uhm well we have only ever kissed three times and never spoken about it so I don't know about the relationship stance." She said back averting her eyes from the older woman.

Rachel had left the Fabray house to go home. Quinn got out of bed and made her way down stairs to the dining room where she knew her mother and sister would probably waiting for her. She sat at the far end of the table not wanting to be too close to the two women.

Judy punished Quinn lightly thanks to Rachel convincing her that Quinn needed support and understanding and not more reason for her to resent them, so Judy gave her chores around the house and took away a few of her privileges such as no TV and phone for a month but she was allowed to have friends over and she had to promise her mother that she would never try and hurt herself again purposely and would either talk to someone about her feelings or she would have to go to a psychoanalyst, or she had the option which Rachel had suggested was a diary to pent out all of her feelings and then when she was ready she would talk to someone about them.

Quinn agreed to the diary idea and she also promised that she would never touch alcohol and try to not harm herself, she agreed to the terms thinking that she got away lightly with her punishment and didn't want to push her mother in case she got harsher with her punishment.

Judy talked to Quinn about her relationship with Rachel explaining to her that as long as she was happy Judy would support her daughter. She then moved on to a subject that Quinn really didn't want to talk about her father Russell Fabray. She explained how all that mattered to her was her kid's happiness and their safety, and that no matter what Russell did he would never get back in to their life's and even if Judy was to consider it, she would leave the final decision to her daughters and wouldn't do anything against their will.

**Am I forgiven for the last chapter, next chapter will be complete Faberry and nothing else and that's a promise, shall Quinn and Judy's relationship become a proper mother daughter or just leave it as it is and same thing for Justine? Please let me know so I can include it in the last few chapter coz I think this fic is going to come to an end in like 5 or 6 more chapters so let me know what you want to see before it end so I can include it in. I should upload the next chapter on Sunday or Monday.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hi guys here is the fluffy chapter I promised early than i said I hope you like it, don't forget to review if you like it or not either way I would love to hear your feedback coz not many of you are telling me what you think and I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing and like I said maybe 3 or 4 more chapters left for this fic so tell me what you would like to see in it and I will try and include it. UN bated so all mistakes are my own. Don't own anything either so please don't sue me. Read and review. Enjoy. **

The next day Quinn was standing outside the school doors willing herself to go inside she had been there for the past twenty minutes staring at the doors. She then felt the sudden heart warming presence of someone standing beside her and linking their hands together showing Quinn that she wasn't alone. The two walked into the building as they pushed open the doors as wondering eyes landed on the pair after Quinn's performance the other day. Quinn tightened her grip on Rachel's hand and willed for herself not to run away to just stick it out and things would eventually get back to normal.

They arrived at Quinn's locker and she let go of Rachel's hand from her death grip. The two of them then made their way to their first class and it wasn't a normal lesson as the English teacher would constantly look at the blood with sympathy and sad eyes, something Quinn would just ignore and try and push it out of her mind.

The day went by rather quickly for the two as their schedules were pretty much the same except for a few classes in which they were separated for. The two spent the day at each other's side and at lunch Rachel and Brittney had convinced the blonde to re join glee club. The four of them made their way to the choir room, when they entered the room everyone was already there.

"OH HELL NO! SHE IS A NOT PART OF THE CLUB." Finn yelled as she stood up kicking his chair back.

"Shut the fuck up Finnocence." Santana spat back at the boy.

"No way she was voted out she can't just come back." She spat back.

"Says who?" she said as she stepped forward and he took a step back but the scowl never leaving his face.

"We all did. We voted her out." She said sneering at the blonde.

"What is going on will someone please tell me what is going on?" said Mr Shue asked.

"Q's re joining glee club and it seems like only Finderelle has a problem with it." Santana said.

"Well that's only because I know that she is going to try and destroy glee club from the inside that is probably her plan." She said as he turned to Mr Shue.

"THAT IS BULLSHIT" SHE YELLED AT THE BOY.

"No its not she is evil she is going to get even with us all screwing up the club." She said to Mr Shue.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" she said to the boy.

"What am I talking about she fucking lied and almost cost us sectionals last year and now she is fucking with your heads using her fucking dead kid as an excuse to get back into the club and then destroy? Mr Shue can't you see that she is acting to be all sad and shit to get everyone to feel sorry her." He said.

"Quinn you're not planning any of that are?" he questioned the girl he knew that could be manipulative. All Quinn could was run out of the room at the distrust that the teacher had shown her.

"YOU FUCKING SON OF A BITCH, FIRST OFF I WILL RIP OF YOUR BALLS AND SHOVE THEM SO FAR DOWN YOUR THROAT THAT THEY WILL START TO REGROW IN CROCH AND AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO HER AT THE CARNIVAL YOU ARE VERY LUCKY THAT I HAVN'T ALREADY HARMED YOU. DO. YOU. . ME." She said through gritted teeth whilst pointing into the large boy's chest and then running out of the room looking for the blonde.

"What did he do at the carnival?" Mercedes was the one to ask the question that was on everyone's lips. And Santana was the one who told the gleeks and the Spanish teacher of Finn's behaviour towards the blonde at the carnival and what he said to her when he showed up at her house with his mother to apologise to her.

"That's just plain sick and not in the good way dude." Mike said and the others nodded showing their agreement in the statement.

"Yeah well she just acts to get you all on her side. She is just acting I bet she just acts all depressed in front of you all and then laughs behind your back." He said.

"That's not true, did you know that she tried to commit suicide a few weeks back if that's not depression then what is?" said Kurt looking at the tall teen in the eyes with disgust.

"What?" Mr Shue asked.

"You heard right. She tried to take her life because she was that much of a funk." Mercedes said to a shocked Mr Shue.

"You know what we quit; we don't want to be a part of a club that has that dickhead." Brittney said and Santana nodded.

Rachel ran out of the choir room looking for the blonde hoping Quinn hadn't done anything stupid. She went to the bathroom looking for the blonde and she was in luck as she heard the girl crying, bathroom floor in one of the cubicles. She pushed opened the door to find Quinn curled up rocking herself whilst she cried.

Rachel sat down beside the crying girl and her eyes scanned the blonde's body to see any signs of self harming, Quinn looked up to find Rachel's concerned wondering eyes on her body.

"I didn't cut Rachel I promise you I didn't please believe me." She said as she nuzzled into the divas neck.

"It's okay Quinn I believe you, it's going to be okay I promise." She said to the sobbing girl. Quinn and Rachel both sat there for a few minutes before Rachel said.

"Let's get you home." The blonde nodded into her neck and the two of them made their way to the Fabray home in Rachel's car. The two arrived at the blonde's home and walked inside and found Judy and Justine looking at her daughter worriedly but Rachel gave them a pleading look that indicated that Quinn was okay and just needed to be alone for a while. They made their way to the ex cheerleaders room and Rachel helped Quinn on the bed the two just sat there for a while not saying or doing anything just holding each other.

"Rach you know I wouldn't do anything to the glee club right?" Quinn said as she broke the silence Rachel just smiled and nodded indicating that she knew that Quinn wouldn't do anything to the club.

"I mean when I first joined I wanted to destroy it but then it just grew on me and now I would never do anything to it because it makes you happy and helps you with your singing and dancing and when you're famous and on Broadway it will be because you had the club and your amazing talent and I don't want to take that away from my best friend." She said as she lay down on the bed. Upon hearing Quinn calling Rachel her best friend she felt slightly upset and also hurt because she wanted to be more than just friends but if that's what Quinn thought then she would go through with it because it was better to have Quinn around as a friend rather than not at all.

"I know Quinn" she said as she smile and also lay beside the girl and Quinn curled in to the brunette.

"Rach"

"Mmmmm"

"Will you sing to me?" she asked the girl who was so comfortable but tried to sit up but her attempts were foiled as Quinn just gripped on to her tighter not letting her move.

"What do you want me to sing" she asked with a true Rachel berry smile. She got the reply of anything and settled for the song lean on me to which she portrayed all her emotions to get the message to Quinn that she could lean on her.

Quinn had fallen asleep during Rachel's serenade but she kept her grip on the girl as tight as possible not wanting her to go anywhere. Rachel reached into her jacket pocket and got her phone out and texted Santana to bring Quinn's car home. She then closed her eyes and began to fall asleep herself when Justine lightly knocked on the door and entered.

She sat at the end o the bed looking at her sister who was sound asleep. She then asked what had happened to which Rachel had explained what had happened in glee club with Finn she also told that Quinn had cut herself even though she could have. Justine helped Rachel out of the death grip Quinn had her in and walked her to the door.

The next day was slightly better she was feeling a lot more comfortable as the stares in the hallways had become less and she had Rachel beside her, lunch came around really fast and the two girls decided to eat lunch in the choir room away from everyone else.

The days were getting better for both girls it was Friday and the girls were laughing and eating lunch in the choir room when Mr Shue walked in.

"What are you girls going here?" he asked.

"Nothing Mr Shue just having lunch." Rachel answered with a smile.

"I actually needed to talk to you, it about glee club you weren't at the last practice." He said.

"That's because I quit the club, Mr Shue as much as I enjoy glee club I will not tolerate Finn's and your behaviour towards Quinn." She stated.

"Well that's what I wanted to talk to you about I was wrongly informed about Quinn's departure of the club last year before sectionals so I was hoping that you would both return." He said as he glanced towards the blonde that looked down to hide her fear.

"We will think about it and if you don't mind we would like to finish our lunch alone." She said as she saw the scared blonde and needed to talk to her before she ran, Mr Shue understood the future Broadway stars plea and walked out of the choir room.

"Quinn, are you okay?" she asked but never got an answer.

"WE don't have to go to glee if you don't want to; no one is going to force you to do anything you don't want to do." She said to the girl as Quinn looked up at the diva feeling guilt course through her body knowing that glee club was one of the few things that Rachel looked forward to during her horrific school days.

"No its okay I want to go it was just a shock of having to go back and listen to Finn yell at me again and have to listen to him say bad things about my baby." She said to the brunette whose face began to light up with a mega watt smile.

"Are you sure?" She asked again and Quinn nodded and hugged the other girl with a small smile gracing her own lips. It was time for the two of them to go to glee and both girls were nervous but as they entered the rest of the group welcomed them and they all enjoyed each other's company there was only three unfriendly faces. Finn who was sitting at the far end at the back scowling at the group and Puck and Lucy were sitting in front of Finn trying to ignore the group.

Once glee club was over Rachel and Quinn went to Rachel's house to just hang out and watch movies. The two made dinner as Rachel's fathers had gone out for date night just like they always did on Friday night.

The two cooked dinner and then cleaned up the mess they made and then sat on the couch eating their food and watching funny girl, once they had finished Rachel washed the dished whilst Quinn texted her mom telling that she was going to be staying at Rachel's and the two girls headed to bed.

Saturday morning came and Rachel woke up in the blonde's arms she nuzzled into the sleeping girl's shoulder to get even closer to the girl and breathe in her scent. The sleeping girl began to stir awake and she tightened her grip on the diva and opened her eyes to find big brown eyes staring right back at her.

"Good morning." She said with a smile gracing her lips.

"Good morning to you to." Rachel said back as she began to get off the blonde but was held in place by Quinn.

"Where are you going?" She asked the diva.

"No where just giving you some space." She said not wanting to give the girl a reason to suspect her feelings for her.

"Why? I mean we always sleep like this and it's really comfy." she asked the diva.

"It's an intimate position and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." She said as the other girl began to lightly giggle at the divas mini rant.

"Rach relax I don't mind I actually I kind of enjoy waking up next to you like this." She said as a light blush on her cheeks forming.

"What do you mean you like it?" she asked.

"I mean it's nice. Why do you have a problem with it?" she replied.

"Becauseikindofreallylikeyou" she whispered at the light of speed.

"Rach I need you to speak a little louder and clearer." She stated.

"I really like you Quinn." She said avoiding the blonde's eyes.

"I like you to Rach but why is that a problem?" she asked.

"I mean I like like you." She said.

"You mean like you want to date me?" she asked.

"Well yes I do." She said still not looking at the other girl. Quinn got out of the bed and grabbed her school and ran out of the berry house still wearing her night pyjamas and ran all the way home. Rachel watched and yelled after Quinn in the hopes of getting the girl to listen to her but her attempts were all for nothing as Quinn just continued running. Rachel walked back into house her eyes filled with tears and went up to her father and held on to him.

She cried on their shoulders as she explained to them what had just happened how she had screwed up. She sat with her father's as they tried to help her with the pain of heartbreak telling her that if Quinn couldn't see what a catch then it was Quinn's loss. About three hours she received a text from the person she thought she had scared away. As she read the text over and over again her mind began to process what was written on the screen on her phone, she jumped out of the couch and ran up stairs mumbling something about not having time leaving her father's completely dumb struck on the couch.

Quinn had run home as she opened the front door she walked inside and was instantly greeted by both her mother and sister she ran upstairs claiming that she had something important to do. She went straight to her room and booted up her laptop and began searching for the information that she needed.

After an hour of Quinn having her eyes pasted on the screen Judy and Justine walked in and saw the younger girl mumbling some incoherent sentences. They asked her what was happening and if everything was okay Quinn just replied telling them of her current situation and that she couldn't find anything to help her, Judy and Justine decided to take upon themselves to help their younger blood. As the mother and sister began to take over her current debacle she sent a quick text to the brunette to inform her of the current situation.

The two older Fabray women waited at the bottom of the stairs for the younger girl to come down, when Quinn did she looked at the two older women cooing over her and trying to fix her hair and dress before she swatted both of their hands away. Her mother then began to bring her into a hug and told her she loved her once Quinn told her mother that she also loved her Justine bought her into a hug and expressed her love for her sister.

Quinn drove to the house and stared at the door before she finally had the courage to ring the bell and about three seconds later the door opened with one of Rachel's father on the other end grinning immensely, he gestured for her to enter and smiled as Rachel walked down the stairs and shoved something in Quinn's face and she asked

"Do you think this is an appropriate way to ask someone out on a date?" she asked as she moved the phone out of her face to reveal the text message she had sent earlier to the brunette.

_**hi Rachel be ready I will pick you up for our date in an hour so please be ready and wear something you are comfortable in.**_

"Well what do you have to say for yourself?" she asked trying to hide her smile.

"Uhm Rachel will you go on a date with me if you want to and if it is okay with your dads?" she said as she looked between the three berry's. The two men nodded and smiled whilst Rachel jumped on Quinn hugging her and giving her a chaste kiss.

"YES of course I will." She said as Quinn interlocked her fingers with Rachel's and the two f them walked out of the berry household holding hands.

**So what did you think fluffy enough for you guys anyway next chapter the first date and a little bit of drama and a whole lot more of Finn bashing? Don't forget to review coz they make me smile. And the song was lean on me by Bill Withers.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Here's chapter seventeen a little later than I hoped but better late than never right but I am sorry but time just got out of my hand so I apologise for the wait. This chapter is the date and some drama but don't hate me once you read. Once again please review and let me know what you want to see because I need know if you are liking it or hating it because I need to know what you think so I know if I keeping up with your expectations.**

Quinn led Rachel to her car and opened her door for the diva with huge grin over her face which also matched the divas, as soon as Rachel had gotten into the car Quinn shut the door and ran towards the diver side of the car and got in and put on her seat belt as she could feel Rachel's eyes on her.

"So where are you taking me?" she asked with excitement.

"Guess." She replied.

"I don't know just tell me?" she asked.

"Nope, if I had a little bribe then maybe my lips would be a little loose." She answered.

"Quinn Fabray if you think that you are going to get a kiss before the end of this date you are dreaming." She said as she looked at the grinning blonde.

"But my lips are tight shut and if you want information from me then you have to loosen them, that's all I am saying." She said.

"Well I must say that this conversation is making your goodbye kiss chances sliming." She replied with a slight chuckle at the end.

"But baby it wouldn't be a date without a goodbye kiss." She whined.

"Well then tell me where you are taking me?" she said back with amusement.

"Why tell you when I can show you." She said as she parked the car.

"Where are we?" she inquired as she stared at the empty building.

"Well get out of the car and you will find out for yourself." She replied as she got out of the car. Rachel took of the seat belt and jumped out the car as Quinn had already opened the door for her. Quinn stood behind her and put her hands over the tiny girls eyes and led her into the building instructing the diva to keep her eyes closed much to Rachel's protests about not knowing where she was going and the environment which is mostly likely cause her to fall over.

Rachel felt the warmth of the other body leave her side and stood completely still not wanting to trip and fall or breaks something. She then felt the blonde's hand link in to her own and her body began to move as she was being pulled by the other girl. Her body come to a halt as she was being pushed down in to the sitting position her butt cheeks fell upon a cushioned chair and she couldn't sense Quinn's presence anymore she sat in her seat fidgeting with her eyes blindfolded.

She then heard voices coming from ahead her blindfold was lifted of her head and she gasped at was in front of her. She looked around and found Quinn sitting besides her fiddling in her seat.

"Is this okay I know you have seen it like a million times but I thought it would be nice for you to watch it like this?" she asked as looked everywhere and anywhere but the diva.

"It's absolutely beautiful, the best date I have ever been on so thank you." She answered as she leaned in and kissed the blonde who was more than happy to deepen the kiss but after a few moments Rachel pulled away earning a whimper from the other girl.

"What you got your kiss didn't you." She asked shyly and nestled into the blonde. Quinn just sighed and rested her head on the divas as they watched the movie. After the movie was done Rachel got up and found a smiling Quinn sleeping beside her she looked around at her surroundings and she looked around the empty cinema theatre and saw Christmas lights hanging in the shapes of stars around the sides of the theatre and then her eyes went back to the screen where she saw the end credits of hr all time favourite movie funny girl playing.

"Quinn sweetie, the movie is over." She said as she gently shakes the girl by the shoulders. Quinn opened her eyes and saw two big brown eyes staring back at her like they were that morning she smiled and leaned down and placed a kiss on the divas lips.

"Let's go." She said as she stood up and stretched from her nap grabbing the divas hand in her own and leading her out of the theatre and to her car to which she opened the car door again for the diva again and waited for her to get in to the car and shut the door before climbing in herself and driving off.

"How did you manage to get that all set up in such short notice?" she asked as she watched the blonde driving.

"That's a secret but I could always tell you if I had a little pervasion." She smirked.

"You are only getting your way because I really want to know." She said as she leaned in a quick pecked the blonde's cheek.

"I would have told you anyway but since my little bribe worked Justine set it up for me a friend of hers is the owner's son she made a few calls and got it sorted for me. And mom insisted that I take you out for dinner to so here we are." She said as she stopped the car.

"Quinn we are in the middle of nowhere." She said as she got out of the car and followed the blonde who was carrying a picnic basket.

"Just follow me okay I promise you will love it." She said as the two walked through a field and then a bunch trees they were met by one of the most beautiful scenery, a river gently flowing and trees slightly hiding them from everyone, Quinn lay the picnic blanket for the diva and her to sit on. Once both girls' were sitting Quinn took out the food her mother had prepared for the two of them.

"This place is absolutely perfect." Rachel said as she absorbed the beautiful scenery around them.

"Yeah it's where I come when I just need to get away." Quinn said as she placed a grape in the divas mouth. The two were feeding each other and sharing kisses when Rachel spotted a figure that she recognized from the many pictures that she had seen and had also had an encounter a few times.

"Quinn can we go now?" she said as she started to pack up the remainder of the food and plates.

"Okay but why? Is everything okay?" she asked back.

"I just remembered that I had to go home and do something really important." She lied which didn't go unnoticed by the blonde who just let it go and didn't bother to hide her pain. The two drove in a uncomfortable silence as they made it back to the berry house once they arrived Rachel gave a quick kiss on the cheek and ran inside leaving a stunned Quinn still standing at the front door of the Berry house. Quinn decided to spend the rest of her weekend with her mother and sister trying to figure out what had happened to Rachel all of a sudden.

It was Monday and Quinn had drove to school herself, she was at her locker still wondering what she had done wrong for diva on their date but she couldn't come up with an answer and the diva in question arrived at her locker with her trade mark hundred watt smile and then hugged the blonde like nothing had even happened on their date.

The next few days were weird to say the least for Quinn as Rachel would act like nothing was wrong but would take a turn in attitude whenever Quinn would question Rachel about their date and what and what had caused her to behave so weirdly Rachel would run away claiming she had something ridiculous to do.

It was Wednesday and Quinn had free period whilst Rachel was in music class, Quinn sat at in the choir room on the piano bench hitting the keys randomly in a calming manner, when she felt another presence in the room with her.

"Looks like you don't have your protectors with you right now." He said.

"What do you want Finn?" she asked the boy.

"Oh nothing really just wanted to tell you that I have seen the way Rachel is behaving around you like her pity is wearing thin." He said with menace lacing her voice.

"You don't know what you're talking about." she said back.

"Don't you see Quinn your Rachel's charity case and she is becoming bored with you and soon her pity will run out and she will just dump your sorry ass." She spat back at her.

"You're lying Finn." She said back.

"Oh I am really think about it Quinn, all of a sudden your bastard kid dies and Rachel wants to be your friend even after everything you did to her she would be willing to be your friend and forget the torture you put her through." He barked as he sat down.

"You're lying Finn Rachel wouldn't fake a friendship with me out of pity Finn she isn't like that." she barked back.

"I am really think about it before your bastard kid death and then her pity began, she asked everyone from glee to spend time with you, she felt guilty for the way she treated you when you were pregnant." She said back and Quinn had no answer maybe he was telling the truth.

"See it all makes sense now right, all the strange feelings you thought that Rachel has or had are all fake and forged out of guilt and pity." He said as he got up and left the room, leaving Quinn alone with her thoughts. There was only two period before the school day ends and one was glee club.

Rachel noticed something that seems off about Quinn since her free period, she was avoiding her like the plague and always avoided the constant touches that the two always craved for. Quinn was the first to walk to walk out of the choir room not even waiting for Rachel and ignoring the divas voice calling out for her. She got as far as the bathroom door when she felt someone tug on her arm and drag her into the empty room.

"What's wrong with you? You have been acting all weird since you had free period?" she asked.

"Why are friends with me after everything I did to you?" she asked back.

"What?" she asked back not understanding the other girls question.

"I mean why, do you want to be my friend after I was a bitch to you for so long?" she asked back.

"Because I know that's not the real you, the you that I know the one that writes beautiful poetry and the most amazing songs and has this great ability to turn the most boring thing into the mist amazing art." She answered back with awe in her eyes.

"So you don't feel sorry for me and this isn't pity friendship or feelings out of guilt?" she asked back.

"What no of course not why would you even think that?" she asked back.

"Wait a minute how did you know about the song I wrote?" she enquired as she registered what the brunette had just said a few seconds ago.

"Uhm because I ..." she trailed off.

"Oh my god, you read my personal letters and then had the nerve to lie to my face about it, you read the letters that I wrote to my baby and everything else that was so personal to me and only for the eyes of my baby girl." She hissed out fighting back her sobs.

"Quinn it's not like that it was by accident." She tried to defend her actions.

"He was right you were just doing everything out of pity and revenge for all the things I have done to you over the past and I was stupid enough to think that you were just trying to be there for me as my friend and then started to like me, you were going to help me get better then crush me." She whispered out containing her pain and hurt inside for the other girl not to see her.

"Quinn" she whispered in a calming voice that showed her fear and reach put to touch the blonde.

"DON'T TOUCH ME YOU LIED TO ME FOR SO LONG I NEVER WANT TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN." She yelled as she ran out of the bathroom and straight to her car no longer being able to contain her tears. She drove home in record time wanting to get to her room to cry away the pain of deceit and the pain Rachel and everyone had caused her.

Rachel didn't understand what had happened until she saw Quinn running out of the bathroom she ran out trying to follow her but wasn't fast enough to catch up to her because when she got to the car park she didn't even see the other girls car in the car park. She fell to the ground finally let the heartache of Quinn's confession get to her. She was suddenly being held up by two different people who held on to her lifeless body.

"Santana I screwed up, Quinn knows we read the letters and diaries and she just ran out on me and I think she might do something to hurt herself." She said as she sobbed on the Latina's shoulder as Brittney hugged her from behind trying to stop her crying.

"Okay lets go back to her place and make sure she is okay." She said as she guided the weeping to her car and drove to the Fabray home. The three knocked on the door and Justine was the one to open it, who also looked slightly upset.

"Can we please go see Quinn it's really important?" she asked showing her desperation which was very rarely shown by the brunette cheerleader.

"I am really sorry guys but she said she doesn't want to see any of you, she is really upset I think you should give her some space to calm down don't worry I will be with her all the time to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid." She said knowing that the three girls were worried about the younger blonde's health. The three of them nodded at the girls reasoning and left the Fabray house all with the same concern for the one person.

**I know you really hate me right now but in my defence I knew Rachel was going to get caught from the moment I wrote it before but in my defence it's better to clear all your dirty laundry sooner rather than later am I right. Next chapter revenge on Finn and a huge beating but who is going to hurt him, and who do you think Rachel saw on the picnic that scared the shit out of her, any guesses. What should Rachel do to gain Quinn's forgiveness and gain her trust again? Let me know your thoughts. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Here's chapter eighteen. Look at me I updated within twenty four yay me. I felt bad for where I left the last chapter but this one is quite emotional but I hope you like it. Don't forget to tell me what you think of it so I know if I did the right thing. Don't own anything so don't sue, still UN bated. Read and review coz they make me smile. Enjoy.**

That night Rachel didn't get a wink of sleep as her heartache and the pain of losing Quinn hit her and tears wouldn't stop she was in her room crying all night as the sun came up indicating a new day, she really didn't want to go to school but got ready in the hopes of seeing Quinn and trying to explain herself to the other girl.

Santana and Brittney picked her up as her car was still in school, she went into the building walking past the ex cheerio's locker, she looked around for the girl but to no luck was Quinn to be found, Quinn wasn't in school Rachel felt even worse thinking that Quinn may have done herself harm. School was over and Rachel drove to the Fabray home and knocked on the door for it to be opened by Justine again.

"Justine please I need to speak to her." She begged the older girl.

"Look Rachel she really is in no state to talk to anyone and judging by the way you look neither are you." She answered back.

"What do mean she isn't hurt or anything is she?" she questioned.

"No not physically but she is hurting from the inside she isn't eating or sleeping she just lays in bed and cries and mumbles stuff like "I hate you" or "how can I be so stupid" she won't say anything else I mean I don't know what's going on with you guys but whatever it is just give her some time and let her come to you because she might just lose it if we force her into anything." She said as a load sob escalated from inside the house.

"I should get back, see you later." She said as she shut the door on a now crying Rachel. that night had been no different than the night before as her sobs wouldn't let her sleep, it was Friday the last day of school for the week and Rachel was really hoping to see Quinn back but still no sign of the blonde she didn't even bother going to the Fabray house that night knowing that Justine wouldn't let her see Quinn. Both girls spent their weekends in their bedrooms crying.

Monday came by and Rachel went to school looking even worse than wear she looked like the living dead her eyes red and puffy from the constant crying and then there was her whole body attitude was slumped due to the lack of sleep, she was the first one in chemistry class sitting at her normal seat, watching as one by one the students filling in and the class filling up but still no sign of Quinn she lost hope of the girl coming to school again when the teacher came in. After a few minutes the door opened up to reveal the girl that Rachel was dying to see but her state was a lot worse than Rachel's , she watched as Quinn walked into the room. She checked the room to see the empty seats available were only two which were one beside her and another besides Jew fro, she wished the blonde would sit beside her but Quinn just walked right past her without even glancing towards her.

The rest of the morning went by the same where Rachel would watch Quinn avoid her and never pay attention in class as she watched the blonde, lunch rolled around and Rachel, Santana and Brittney searched the whole school looking for the girl but didn't have any luck, it was last period before glee and Rachel watched as Quinn ran out of the class room like she had all day, she walked in to glee in the hopes of seeing the girl there but to no luck.

The next two days were the same Rachel tried to corner the girl but never had any luck as Quinn was to fats for her what the two girls didn't know was that there was someone else that was watching them was another person who was becoming concerned for both girls health, he watched as they played hide and seek and how neither girl looked like they weren't eating or sleeping properly. Both he and Rachel noticed how Quinn's dress code had changed from dresses to baggy pants and baggy sweaters, for Rachel this becoming more and more likely that Quinn had started hurting herself again. It was Wednesday lunch time and Rachel still hadn't cornered the blonde yet, but she managed to spot her fifteen minutes before lunch ended. She gripped the other girl tightly around her arm and dragged her into an empty classroom close by, she let go of the other girl and slammed the door shut so hard but the door just opened back up again.

"Are you cutting again?" she jeered out but Quinn didn't meet her eyes and didn't bother to answer her question.

"Damn it Quinn I asked you a question and I want you to answer." She hissed out.

"Why do you care? So that you can pity me more? I am not your charity case Rachel; find someone else to feel sorry for coz I don't want it." She said as she ran out of the room not wanting to continue to talk to the other girl.

Rachel felt a pang of hurt run course through her body as she watched Quinn running out of her. She fell to the floor as a fresh wave of tears making their way out of her eye lids, she was lifted by strong male arms that had heard and seen everything that had happen between the two girls. He shushed the weeping girl, once the girl had calmed down.

"Rachel what's going on?" he asked her as she straightened her clothing out.

"Nothing Mr. Shue." She answered her teacher without looking him in the eyes.

"Rachel what did you mean by Quinn cutting again?" he asked as he approached the diva slowly.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She lied not wanting to lose any more of the blonde girl's trust, she ran out of the room not wanting to be interrogated anymore. At the end of the day all the Glee club waiting for Mr Shue and the shorter blonde.

"Right I have an announcement to make." He said as he entered the room and everyone turned to him.

"I just spoke to Quinn and she said that she just doesn't feel like glee club is something she feels passionate about anymore so she quit." He said with his eyes completely stuck on the future Broadway star, whom didn't look too surprised from Mr Shue announcement.

The next two weeks went b y the same Quinn doing everything and anything to avoid Rachel, Santana and Brittney, who were trying to track her down. Rachel was beyond scared for Quinn as she was looking like she was a zombie. That day after school Rachel decided that she needed to talk to Quinn no matter what and who stopped her. She was walking out of the school when she was approached by Finn.

"What do you want Finn?" she asked not even bothering to look at the bot.

"You and Quinn seem to have drifted apart." He said somewhat amused.

"What do you mean by that?" she asked now looking at the boy.

"Oh nothing! Just that my little with her a few weeks had worked." She said with a disturbing laugh.

"YOU FUCKING DICKHEAD." She screamed as she lunged forward to attack the boy, she kneed him in the balls and then began kicking and punching him as he lay on the floor clutching his privates. She was pulled of the boy by Santana.

"What the fuck are you doing Berry?" she asked holding the squirming girl.

"It was his fault he told Quinn that she was our charity case." She said and moved forward again to get back to hurting the boy as Santana and Brittney joined in.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" yelled couch Bieste as she pried of the three girls from her quarterback.

"He keeps screwing with Q's head." Brittney replied. Couch let the three girls go and took Finn to the nurses office.

Rachel got to the Fabray house, she took a deep breath and knocked on the door and again Justine was the one who opened it.

"Please Justine I need to talk to her, just fifteen minutes and then if she wants me to leave I will and never bother her again." She pleaded to the middle Fabray woman, who just nodded and gestured with her hand for Rachel to come in.

Rachel walked through the Fabray house that she had become so well known to her over the summer. She got to the blonde girl's room; she lightly knocked on the door and didn't get an answer so she entered to find Quinn laying on the bed in the foetal position.

"Quinn can we please talk? Let me please explain myself and then you can decide what you want to do and I will respect your decision." she asked as the blonde looked up to her in tearful eyes. A light nod was given to Rachel as an indication to speak. Rachel sat at the foot of the bed and Quinn also scooted forward to the foot of the bed but kept a respectable distance between them. They sat in silence Rachel thinking of how to justify her actions and Quinn waiting to hear Rachel's excuses.

"I am sorry Quinn I never meant to read them but you weren't talking to anyone and I wanted to know what was going on in your head, I know it still isn't a good enough excuse but I just wanted to help and didn't know how so when I saw them I thought that if I read them then I know what you were thinking and help you." She said looking the blonde straight in the eyes for her to know she was telling the truth.

"Okay but before you even knew about them you held that glee club meeting for everyone to spend time with me, why I mean that must have been pity." She asked the diva who was happy to hear her voice again.

"What no, I came to visit you every day before that Quinn and I hated seeing you like that, I wanted you to go back to your normal regular self, I would rather have you insulting me and throwing slushes at me than for you to be that person you were." She answered truthfully and Quinn just nodded showing her understanding.

"Where you ever going to tell me that you read them?" she asked needing to know.

"I don't know." She said back.

"Who else knows about what was written in them?" she asked needing to know.

"Just me Brittney, Santana and my dad's." She said back not wanting to lie anymore the girl anymore.

"So after you read them you felt sorry for me that's why you were spending all that time with me?" she asked.

"What no Quinn, once I read them I wanted the real you to come out and wanted the world to know who the true Quinn Fabray was, I swear once I read them I didn't do anything out of pity or guilt or sorrow it was so I could get to know the true you." She said back.

"If you weren't feeling sorry for me then why did you act differently at the end of the date and every time I mention it?" she asked curious to know her answer.

"Because I saw someone at the park that I knew would screw it up and I didn't want you go back into depression since you were getting better." She answered being careful not to mention who she saw.

"Who?" she asked back.

"Quinn I don't think you want to know." She said back.

"Stop treating me like a fucking kid Rachel just tell me, I am a big girl I can handle it." She spat back annoyed at the divas reluctance.

"Your dad I saw him at there and got scared that he was going to come and ruin everything." She said back.

"How would you know what my dad looks like?" she asked.

"I have met him a few times before, once at the funeral when I was leaving he was saying all this nasty stuff about how god didn't want that kind of filth on his planet that's why he killed it before it had a chance to be born, and I also met him when you tried to kill yourself I was going home and he was coming in, he was drunk saying that he would be the happiest man alive if you were dead, I saw him once after that but stopped him from saying anything about you." She answered back wincing at the pain that was now visible in Quinn's eyes.

"Where else did you see him?" she asked.

"At your baby's grave on the first day of school he was standing in front of it, when we were looking for you after you ran out of school." She answered scooting towards the girl to hold her but Quinn moved away. The room once again fell silent as the two girls waited for the other to speak.

"Quinn I swear to god I never wanted to hurt you; I would do anything to make you smile because every time you're happy it makes me happy and when you're miserable my heart breaks. I will do anything for you to give me another chance." She begged.

"I don't know Rachel I don't think I can trust you again Rachel." she said.

"Please Quinn I am begging you, just let me earn your trust back I will do anything just say that we can at least be friends again, please Quinn." She pleaded with tears running down her cheeks. Quinn wanted nothing more than to hold her and tell her that they could go back to the way things were before but she wasn't going to put herself through any more pain.

"Rachel I don't think that's a good idea. We should just forget everything that happened and just move on from each other." She said holding back her tears.

"No please Quinn I can't forget that I love you, Quinn don't break up with me please I can't take it just give me one chance and I will do anything to show you that I am sorry and how much really care for you." She said as she was now kneeling in front of the blonde looking up to her holding her hand in Quinn's. She didn't even care that she had just told Quinn that she loved her.

"I don't know." She answered willing herself not to lean forward and kiss the girl.

"Quinn please, I can't imagine my life without you." She said.

"I guess but Rachel I don't think it will be easy for me to forget about how you lied to me because I thought I could trust you and then I found out you have been lying to me all this time." She said as she looked at their joint hands.

"So does this mean that we can at least try and work past this and I will gain your trust again." She answered.

"I guess we can try and work it out but it's not going to be easy for e to trust you again." She said back.

"I know, thank you thank you thank you." She said as she jumped up and hugged the blonde tightly but then pulled but abundantly pulled back.

"Was that okay, I mean you didn't mind that if I hugged you?" she asked standing awkwardly.

"It's fine." She said back and pulled the diva back in to a hug which Rachel was happy to reciprocate.

**So did you guys find it believable? Let me know what you think. Next chapter will have Finn the complete destruction, and Rachel and Quinn moving forward and rebuilding the trust in their relationship. There is like two or three chapters left for this fic so if there is anything you guys would like to see let me know so I can make it happen.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Here's chapter nineteen, I updated again that's three days in a row. Not much feedback from the last chapter so I guess you guess either didn't like it or haven't read it. Read and review coz I love to hear from you good or bad. Enjoy. **

The two girls stayed in Quinn's room talking about how things were going to happen if they wanted their relationship to work, they had agreed on complete honesty with each other, Rachel had to tell Quinn everything no matter how she thought the blonde would react and Quinn would vent her feelings instead of bottling up her feelings. Once the two of them had talked about how they were going to work past the trust aspect of their relationship.

Rachel went home feeling slightly relieved that her relationship with Quinn was on the mend and that she didn't have to worry about having anymore secrets from the said girl.

As Rachel got into bed that night evoking that conversation with her blonde girlfriend and then it suddenly hit her that she had told Quinn that she was in love with her, she tried to think of Quinn's reaction once the words had left her mouth but Quinn seemed not to have heard her.

The next day the two of them met in school Quinn was still a little scared but Rachel stood beside her and held her hand and the day went by and the two of them stuck by each other and helped each other when they felt the unwanted eyes on them. The girls were heading towards the choir room for lunch when they were stopped by a bruised up Finn Hudson.

"What do you want Finn?" asked the diva.

"Aww look at you two together again." He said back and then stepped back as Santana and Brittney approached the two girls.

"Listen up Hudson I am so sick and tired of you r shit, you will back the fuck off or I will make you regret your existence." Spat the Latina.

"I am not scared of you Lopez so do your worst and I am going to fuck with Fabray's head and I am never going to let her forget how she lied to me about that bastard kid of hers." He spat back.

"That's it I have had enough of you speaking ill of my baby girl, I lied big whoop get over it already coz everybody else has, and I am glad you that you weren't the father of my baby coz the last thing I wanted was for my baby to have your brainless genes, I mean you barely have pea size brain and I wouldn't want her to have her to inherit your repulsive looks either, I swear to whatever god that is out there if you thought that I was mean before you don't know anything because I will make it my personal mission to ruin anything and everything good in your life, do you understand me?" Quinn barked out to the tall boy who just nodded in understanding.

"Oh and there's nothing you can say to me that could affect me anymore coz you are the biggest scum of the world and I will never stress over the garbage that leaves your mouth or should I say your second asshole." She said and walked away with Rachel, Brittney and Santana on her heel.

That day Finn realised that he wasn't invisible as couch Bieste heard about his bullying and kicked him off the team because she had a no bullying policy, Santana had put a warning saying that anyone seen with the ex quarterback would get a special visit from her and that would leave them limbless. Finn Hudson was no longer on top and the bottom was a lonely place as his football team mates had left him and everyone in school avoided him like he was the plague because of Santana's threat. The glee club had become distant to him after they all heard about his little show at the carnival. Kurt kicked him out of their bedroom and Burt and Carol lost all their respect for him and would barely even look at him and would only speak to him if necessary. He was completely lonely.

The next week went by with the two girl's spending as much time as possible together but at times Quinn wanted to be alone and Rachel understood giving the girl her space but wanted Quinn to at least talk about her pent up frustrations. It was Friday and Quinn was completely zoned out from everyone, no matter who would address her.

"Where's Q?" asked Santana startling the diva that was at her locker.

"I think she's in the choir room, she seems really distracted today." She stated as she turned around the two cheerleaders.

"What do mean?" asked the Latina as she raised her eyebrow.

"She seems more distant than usual and doesn't even seem to be aware of her surroundings and is always looking at book." She replies as she closes her locker.

"I don't know, she hasn't said anything to me." Santana Replied as she started to inspect her nails indicating that she was getting bored.

"So you don't know what's wrong with her?" she asked already knowing the other girls answer as the brunette cheerleader.

"I know." Brittney Spoke for the first time since the two cheerleaders joined the diva at her locker. The two brunettes have looked at the blonde for her to continue talking.

"She was looking at the weird baby picture that she was hiding in her Spanish book, I then remembered that it was the first time she went to the hospital last year, I thought you guys knew that but were just leaving her alone so she can think about her baby today." She said as she looked at the two girls. As soon as Brittney had finished Rachel ran away to go find the blonde. She went into the choir room and the blonde sitting on the back benches looking inside her chemistry book.

"hey." She said taking deep breathes to regain her normal breathing routine.

"Hi" she said back looking up from the book.

"What you doing?" she asked not wanting to bring up the subject but wanted to know what the girl was feeling and thinking.

"Nothing much, I just waiting for you." She said as her eyes trailed back down at the sonogram of her daughter.

"Okay, do you mind if I sit next to you?" she asked hoping to get to see what the blonde was staring at. Quinn gave a quick nod to the other girl and Rachel took a seat beside her.

"Is that..." she trailed off.

"yeah." Quinn replied not taking her eyes of the sonogram.

"Can I?" asked Rachel not wanting to pry and push the girl away as Quinn still didn't talk about her daughter.

"yeah." She said back taking the small picture and passed it to the diva who took it carefully. Rachel looked at it.

"Quinn do you still think about her." She asked as her thumb traced the sonogram.

"All the time." She answered as she watched the divas hand trace over the first picture of her daughter.

"Rachel, I want to go see her." She stated as her eyes filled with tears.

"Are you sure?" she asked because every time Rachel mentioned going to see the baby's grave, the girl would reply by saying that she didn't want to or that she wasn't ready.

"yeah." She replied and the two of them fell in to comfortable silence as they both stared at the sonogram.

"Will you come with me? I want you to meet her." She said.

"Of course I would love to meet her." Rachel said back.

The two girls were sitting on the floor besides the grave as Quinn broke down and began to finally cry at the loss of her daughter. Rachel sat besides the girl and held her in her arms and trying to calm her by rubbing her lower back and whispering reassuring words and placing gentle kisses on the blonde girl's forehead.

The time had gone by and they had spent almost three hours by Samantha's grave. Rachel drove them to the Fabray house. They walked in together and instantly saw the two older Fabray women looking at the two and their expressions changed from angry to scared and worried but Rachel threw them a don't you dare look and the two women immediately backed down and let the two girls go up stairs. Once in Quinn's room the blonde instantly feel apart again and Rachel ran towards the blonde and led her towards the bed and they both lay there in each other's arms as Quinn cried until no more tears would come out.

"I wish I had gotten to know her." Rachel said.

I wish you had the chance to know her too but I guess you never will coz she is gone, I wish she would come back Rach, I would do anything to see her or hold her but it's never going to happen and I hate that it's all my fault." She said through sobs.

"Quinn I hope that one day you can stop blaming yourself, one day Quinn you will be able to see that it just happened. It was an accident you have to stop blaming yourself." Rachel said back. The two were still laying in each other's arms as Quinn drifted off to sleep. Rachel was also drifting off to slumber when she was knocked out of her state of slumber as there was a knock on the door. The door opened and entered Justine and Judy looking worried.

"What happened?" Judy asked.

"We went to go see her daughter" she replied.

"She didn't take it too well judging by her appearance." Judy said.

" I think she finally let go of her buckled up emotions but I think they were so much locked up that when she let go it got too much and they all just came out stumbling out and she couldn't stop." Rachel said as she shifted a little on the bed.

"Well at least she finally letting go of her feelings." Justine said as she sat beside her sister on the bed and started to brush her bangs out of her sister's face.

"Justine could you do me a favour." Rachel asked through a yawn.

"Sure what?" she asked back.

"Could you just ring my dad's and tell them I am staying the night?" she said.

"Yeah don't worry about it, it's not like there's school tomorrow or anything." She said taking the divas phone from her jacket pocket and leaving the room to talk to the girl's father. Judy walked up to her youngest daughter and placed a kiss on her forehead and left the two girls'. Rachel lay back down and fell as sleep.

**So the next chapter is going to be the one, but I would love to hear your thoughts on what you thought of the fic. I hoped you liked the down fall of Finn and Quinn's improvement and the girl's improvement on their relationship. Let me know and I wanted to know if you guys would like a sequel of the future of this fic or if you would like a sequel to the bet let me know. **


	20. Chapter 20

**Here's chapter twenty the last and final chapter to this fic. It's not got that any angst at all I wanted to end it with a fluffy chapter so I did. I just wanted to thank everyone for their feedback on this fic it was truly overwhelming so a huge thank you to everyone and especially those of you that reviewed coz you guys made me want to finish it off this quickly. Read and review. enjoy**

The following morning Quinn was the first to wake and found the future Broadway star laying on her side with her face using Quinn's chest as a pillow. Quinn carefully moved the bangs out of her eyes and gazed at the sleeping girl below her, she watched as Rachel eyes squinted when Quinn would move and the sunlight hit Rachel's eyes, how her nose would scrunch up when Quinn's breathe lightly hit it and then her eyes landed on Rachel's chest, how it was heaving up down her rubbing against her sides.

"Good morning." Quinn said as she saw Rachel open her eyes.

"Morning." Rachel replied groggily still in her sleepy state. After a while the two girls reluctantly pulled away from each other and got ready for another Saturday. They spent the day at the park they used to go to during the summer.

Quinn seemed to be getting better; the girls would spend their weekday evening at each other's home either doing home work or watching movies, Saturday's were spent at the park and Sunday's were spent with family members.

It was Monday night, Rachel and Quinn was in Quinn's bedroom, the girls had just finished their home and were now in a major make out session.

"Rachel."

"Mhhm"

"Canyoutouchme?" she whispered to the diva as Rachel was assaulting her neck.

"What?" Rachel asked removing her lips from the girl's neck.

"Can you touch me?" she repeated.

"Where do you want me touch you." She asked and Quinn took Rachel's hand in her own and led her hand to touch her breast. She stifled a moan and removed her own hand began writhing beneath the girl. Rachel stopped her attack on the ex cheerio's neck.

"Quinn we should talk before we get carried away." She said

"Okay." She replied.

"I mean we should initiate a few rules so that we don't cross boundaries and when we are both ready to move to the next step of our relationship." She said and Quinn smirked and raised an eyebrow.

"What the kind of rules?" she asked.

"Well you know?" she said as her cheeks heated.

Rachel can I suggest something?" she asked with an amused tone.

"Sure." She said back.

"Well how about we just explore and if either of us feel uncomfortable we tell the other and when were ready for "the next step of our relationship" we tell each other and make it special for each other." She said with a cocky tone.

"I like that idea, now where was I?" she asked as she attached her lips to the blondes and asked for entrance. What neither girl knew was that Justine had been spying on them and Judy had joined her and heard the whole conversation.

The next day was the same as the other days, other than Judy insisting Rachel stay for dinner that evening. The two women and two teens sitting at the dinner table the two older Fabray women giving each other knowing looks and Rachel and Quinn kept glancing between the two and then at each other not liking the silent conversation they were having.

"So how are things going with you girls?" asked Judy whilst Justine smirked.

"Fine." Quinn replied cutting her mother off.

"So since you girls have been dating for a while and I wanted to talk to about sex..." she said.

"Oh my god mom please just pleases stop talking." She said turning a deep shade of pink.

"But Quinnie it's just that I want you girls to be responsible even though you couldn't get each other pregnant but still sex is suppose mean something spiritual and I don't want you girls rushing into it and I want to be able to talk to me or Rachel's dads or even Justine but don't make haste decisions." She said looking at the two teens whilst Justine was trying to contain her laughter at the look of horror on Quinn's face.

"Mom just please, we're not having sex so please just stop talking about it." She said her face as red as a tomato.

"I know Quinnie but when you girls are ready just talk to someone because I know that neither of you are..." she said.

"Okay that's it I am leaving, I don't want to hear this." She said and ran up out of the room leaving a very scared and uncomfortable Rachel alone with the woman to continue her speech.

"Well since Quinn decided to run out on this conversation you can fill her in." She said a to a petrified Rachel, whose face had also turned a dark shade of red and she just nodded at the mother of her girlfriend, wanting to kill said person for leaving her alone for this.

"Well like I was saying before you girls aren't going to wait for marriage and I just want to know..." she said.

"MOM I think Rachel gets the idea don't you?" said Justine feeling sorry for the scared diva, who just nodded and excused herself and practically ran away from the two older Fabray women. She ran up to the blonde's room to kill her.

"How dare you leave me alone with her when she was talking about sex." She screeched at the blonde.

"You could have just followed me." She said with a shrug.

"No I couldn't and she started to give me the talk, do you know how disturbing it is to have the talk with your girlfriend's mother?" she hissed out.

"She didn't finish?" asked Quinn.

"No Justine saved me from having to listen to any more, I will kill you if you ever leave me alone like that again." She said as she sat on the foot of the bed.

"I am sorry baby but it's wrong for my mom to be talking about that with me, I just didn't know what to do so I ran, I was kind of hoping you would follow but you stayed put." She said crawling behind the diva and placing her chin on the girls shoulder whilst wrapping her arms around Rachel's waist.

"Well that would have been rude." She huffed out.

"I am really sorry, am I forgiven?" she asked as she began peppering kiss on the divas cheek.

"You're just really lucky I really like you." She said with a sigh enjoying the blonde's lips on her skin.

"You just really like me, and I here I thought you loved me?" she said dramatically placing her hands on her heart and letting out a fake gasp.

"How did you know, I mean I never said it so how did you know that?" she stuttered out.

"Oh really you never said I love you to me?" asked Quinn.

"I don't think so." She lied knowing she had said it once before to the girl but thought Quinn never heard it.

"Oh really because if I remember correctly you said it to me once." She said smirking at the diva.

"Well since you don't remember let me refresh your memory, it was here in my bedroom room when you lied to me and we decided to give our relationship another go, you said and I recall "No please Quinn I can't forget that I love you, Quinn don't break up with me please I can't take it just give me one chance and I will do anything to show you that I am sorry and how much really care for you." Does that refresh your memory?" She said to the girl.

"As a matter of fact it does." She replied and pushed the blonde back and straddled her and then connected their lips.

"Was it okay, that I said it then?" she asked.

"It was fine but I did wonder why you never said it again?" Quinn said.

"Because I didn't know how you would react and I didn't want to push you away." She answered truthfully.

"Well how about you say it now and see what I do." She said with amusement.

"I love you Quinn Fabray." She said with pure honesty and waited for the blondes reply.

"It's a good thing that, I love you too." She said back and connected her lips to the divas.

They had said I love you to each other a month ago and everything was perfect for the two of them, they continued to spend every waking moment with each other and loved it and Rachel would always look for the opportunity to tell the blonde she loved her and Quinn would kiss her and say it back.

They sat in Quinn's bedroom on Friday night watching some stupid TV program (Quinn's words) about animal cruelty- the slaughter of the pigs. Judy Fabray had gone to go visit some relatives in California for the week and Justine was staying over at one her friends. It wasn't the first night where the girls had been left alone so Rachel thought nothing of it but Quinn had other plans.

When Quinn got up and sat on the divas lap and began kissing her which Rachel accepted with fervour. Things became heated for the two and Quinn pulled away and pulled off her shirt to reveal her bare chest. One thing led to another and both girls were in their panties, panting into each other's ears from the lack of oxygen.

They soon got rid of the thin layer of clothing and made that night the most magical night for each of them, that night was the night they would remember for the rest of their lives; it was the night where two souls became one forever. It was the night where they would go to their graves as the happiest night of their lives.

Rachel had fallen asleep from the workout the two had just had, Quinn lay in bed with a sleeping Rachel in her arms. In two months time it would be the death anniversary of Samantha but Quinn wasn't worried because in that moment she realised that maybe just maybe her daughter's death was god's way of taking the one person she loved and that loved her back and giving her the love of her mother, her sister, and friends and a love that she had pretty much craved for her whole life the love of a father but instead of one father she got the love of two (Rachel dad's) and most importantly the love she thought she would never in a million years receive the love of her soul mate one Rachel Barbara Berry. In that state of mind she fell in to a deep and beautiful state of slumber with her lover in her arms.

**The end. **

**So what did you guys think of the ending rubbish or okay don't forget to tell me in the reviews. And the sequel to the bet was posted yesterday it's called who's going to cave first so check that out if you want to and let me know if you guys want a sequel to this fic too.**


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